Three's a Crowd
by MarieCarro
Summary: Bella and Rosalie are roommates and best friends. When the third friend of their BFF trio moves out to live with her boyfriend and her newborn baby, the girls need to find someone new, and it appears that someone just happens to stumble into their laps.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

This is just one of those stories that I am writing in between my other stories and I feel that my inspiration's running dry :-P Therefore, this story is unbeta'd, and all the mistakes are mine, and mine only.

It's also the first time I'm attempting pure comedy, so hopefully, it'll be up to your standard.

The pairing is E/B, but it will take a little while for them to get there, so be open to both of them flirting with other people, okay? :-D

Good!

**Title: **Three's a Crowd

**Author: **MarieCarro

**Genre: **Comedy/Romance

**Rating: **NC-17

**Summary: **Bella and Rosalie are roommates and best friends. When the third friend of their BFF trio moves out to live with her boyfriend and her newborn baby, the girls need to find someone new, and it appears that someone just happens to stumble into their laps.

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

The apartment was a complete mess, and the evidence suggested the reason was a very successful party the evening before. On the couch, in the middle of everything, Bella and Rosalie were sleeping

Bella's dream was beyond awesome and she was smiling, but Rosalie was fidgeting, which made it obvious her dream wasn't as pleasant as her roommate's. Her restless moving accidentally knocked the stereo's remote off the coffee table, and when it landed on the wooden floor, the stereo started blaring out ear-deafening rock music from its speakers.

Both Bella and Rosalie jumped up, awakened by the shock of the sudden music. Disoriented and hungover, the girls started screaming until Bella scrambled down onto the floor for the remote. She finally found the off-button and shut off the music with a relieved sigh.

"Oh god," Rosalie groaned and threw her arm over her eyes.

Bella pressed her cheek against the cooler floor and moaned. "Fuck, my head..." She wanted to rub her aching temples, but her arm was too heavy to maneuver.

"Bella?" Rosalie croaked.

"Yeah?"

"Are you alive?"

Bella let out another moan. "Yeah, I'm alive, but my liver ain't..." She laughed at her own joke, but it worsened her headache. A fragment from the night before pushed its way to the forefront of her mind, and another, more undignified sound left her. "Fuck. Rose, you know that obnoxious, vulgar chick last night?"

"Uh-huh," she answered and removed her arm an inch to look at her friend on the floor.

"The one who stripped while dancing on the counter...?" Bella continued, and this time, Rosalie let out a giggle.

"Yeah..."

"And grabbed every guy's ass..."

"You mean, the guys' for starters," Rosalie filled in, and her smirk was wide as she waited for Bella's conclusion.

Bella lifted her head with a mortified expression. "That _was_ me, wasn't it?"

Rosalie exploded in laughter and nodded. "Absolutely!"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Bella mumbled. "Alice probably hates me now. The party was for _her_!"

"Don't worry about it," Rosalie reassured. Her own headache was slowly subsiding, but she wasn't fully ready to get up from the couch yet. "She barely had enough time to see you roll yourself into the carpet with Jasper. She had to leave for the hospital right after that."

Bella's eyes flew open and she shot up into a kneeling position. "What? Last night?"

The smile on Rosalie's face grew. "Yeah. We rolled Jasper out of the carpet and got them into the same cab." Her smile softened as she dug her phone out of her pocket to show the photo of a red-faced baby resting against an exhausted-looking Alice sent from Jasper. "An eight pounds and completely healthy little boy."

"What?!" Bella gasped and grabbed the phone to look closer. "Oh my god, that's just—" she was so excited for her friend, but her exclamation made her more aware of her head and the pounding behind her eyes. She pressed her thumb and forefinger against her eyes. "Ouch." When she opened her eyes again, she spotted the bowl of Rosalie's punch. Immediately, she stood up and handed Rosalie the bowl. "Just throw this brew from hell out," she grumbled and walked over to the mirror to examine herself and the mess she was in.

Rosalie sat up on the couch and looked at the bowl in confusion. "My special punch? What's wrong with it?"

"Ask the ladle," Bella retorted.

Rosalie fished the ladle out of the bowl and noticed the plastic tool looked distorted as if something had melted it. She made a sheepish face toward Bella.

"And my numb tongue," Bella continued and checked her tongue in the mirror. It looked normal, but her mouth felt as if it was filled with cotton. "Ugh, it must have been pure vodka in that."

"Yeah, it was vodka, gin, tequila, Galliano, Campari, brandy, pear-flavored cordial—"

"Stop, stop, stop," Bella begged and grabbed a hair clip from the dresser to get the haystack out of her face.

Rosalie laughed and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, but she immediately comes back out with wide, uncertain eyes. "Uh, Bella?"

"What?"

"There's a guy in our tub."

Bella whirled around in shock. "What?"

Rosalie pointed over her shoulder. "He's in there, sleeping."

Bella hurried into the bathroom with Rosalie right after her, and she immediately saw the guy in the tub. He was kind of hard to miss because his tall frame didn't really fit the size of the tub, so his legs were dangling over the edge.

"Do you know him?" Rosalie asked as she had no idea who he could be. She thought he was cute, though.

"Hard to say. He's got all his clothes on," Bella joked and let out a snort, but Rosalie hit her lightly on the arm.

"Stop it. We need to get him out of here. There's a girl coming to look at Alice's old room today. She could be here at any moment."

Bella didn't really want to wake the guy up as she knew it would be very awkward. "We'll just close the door."

"What if she wants to see the bathroom?" Rosalie countered.

"I guess we'll just have to say he's an unusually large rubber duck." Bella laughed again, but Rosalie wasn't amused.

"He needs to be gone when she gets here. Just wake him up!"

With a sigh, Bella leaned over and poked the guy's shoulder, but all it did was cause him to turn his head to the side and continued to snore, so she experimentally turned the faucet on. Even as the tub slowly filled with water, the guy didn't wake up. Bella gave Rosalie a resigned look, and Rosalie turned to fill up a glass with water which she then threw right in the guy's face.

With a gasp, the guy shot up into a standing position and looked around the room with bewilderment. His hair, wet from the water, fell across his eyes, and when he spotted Bella and Rosalie staring at him, he tried to regain some of his dignity by smoothing the wet strands away.

He placed a foot on the edge of the tub and played it cool. "Good evening," he said calmly.

"More like 'Good morning'," Rosalie replied, and the guy looked sincerely confused.

"It's already morning?" he asked and moved to take a step, but his foot caught on the edge of the tub and he fell forward. Before he knocked his head on the toilet seat, Bella and Rosalie caught him.

Tangled in their strange position on the bathroom floor, Bella gave the guy a wide-eyed look. "I have a more interesting question for you. What are you doing in our bathtub?"

The guy cleared his throat. He didn't have a clear answer to the girl in whose arms he was currently lying. "Uhh, my name's Edward. Edward Cullen." He turned and saw Rosalie's smile. The light-haired young woman was one of the most beautiful he had ever placed his eyes on. "Hey," he said to her flirtatiously with his own smile, but as he shifted his weight, the girls' hold on him slipped, and he landed with a thud on the floor. He looked himself over as if he hadn't noticed he was soaked until just then. "And I am wet. Could I borrow a towel?"

Rosalie reached out and gave him the requested towel with her smile still in place. He was even cuter awake. "I'm Rosalie," she introduced herself.

Edward nodded as he dried himself. "Oh yeah, I remember you. You were at the party last night." He offered her his hand to shake.

"You mean _our_ party," Bella clarified, not as taken with the guy as her friend was even though she couldn't deny his attractiveness.

"This is Bella." Rosalie gestured toward her. "My best friend and roommate"

Edward turned to offer a handshake to her as well, and while Bella accepted it, her smile was a little tighter and less open than Rosalie's. Edward got the message loud and clear. "Right," he said. "Well, I was one of your guests last night."

"Really?" Bella replied with a hint of both sarcasm and confusion since neither she nor Rosalie had any idea who this guy really was.

"Yeah, well, I came with a friend of a friend who had a girl who knew one of those who'd gotten lost," Edward explained, and as he did, he realized how stupid it sounded. "Or something like that," he finished, embarrassed.

"You were also lost then?" Rosalie offered helpfully.

"And ended up on our bathtub," Bella said and gave Rosalie a questioning glance. Not a minute before, she wanted the guy out, but now she was flirting unabashedly with him.

Edward blinked and took a deep breath. "God, I don't know. Last thing I remember was drinking from that punch. Then everything went black."

Bella instantly felt relieved. "Oh good! Then you don't remember the half-naked chick dancing on the counter, right?"

Edward gave her an intrigued look. "Sadly, no. Is she still here?"

Rosalie turned eagerly to Bella. "Yeah, it was—"

"No!" Bella stopped her with a pointed look. "She went home." She turned back to Edward. "Shouldn't you also get home?"

"Yeah, I guess I should," Edward agreed and started to stand.

"Wait," Rosalie said. "You can't go home in wet clothes," she insisted.

"But you just said—" Bella started, but this time, Rosalie stopped her.

"Well, he can't." She met Edward's somewhat nervous eyes. "Take it all off. You can borrow something from one of us while it dries."

The girls left the bathroom, and Edward understood he didn't really have a say in the matter, so he shrugged and removed his garments.

A couple of minutes later, Bella knocked on the door, and when Edward opened it wearing nothing but his underwear, she really had to hide the surge that went through her stomach. The guy had quite the body. She held out the fabric in her hands toward him. "I'm afraid we don't have any guy's clothes lying around, so you'll have to settle for this."

Edward held up the flowery silk robe which wouldn't even reach mid-thigh on him. "Are you kidding?"

Bella shrugged. "Nope. It was either this or tights and a tube top. Your pick." She held out her hand again. "Just give me the wet clothes. I'll hang them up close to the radiator."

Edward discontentedly put on the robe and gave her his own clothes, but Bella had to bite her lip to hold in the laughter bubbling up from the sight of him in her pale-yellow silk robe.

Rosalie exited her bedroom looking much more put-together than before, and when she saw Edward, she didn't even try to hold in her laugh. "Well, look at you! Aren't you cute."

Bella cleared her throat and nodded with a serious expression. "Very manly."

Edward narrowed his eyes at her. "If the guys on my basketball team saw me like this, they'd start showering with their clothes on," he said and gave the both of them a tight, unamused smile.

With a roll of her eyes, Bella walked away from him. "That's their issue, not yours," she said. "It shouldn't be a problem for a guy who's secure in his own sexuality."

"I am secure in my sexuality!" Edward protested her implication loudly.

"Then wear the robe and stop complaining."

Edward grumbled and scratched his jaw which was covered in stubble. He wanted to shave, but he didn't dare ask these girls for anything because he had the feeling there was no guarantee what they'd offer him to use.

Rosalie disappeared into the kitchen, and Edward looked after her with interest. Bella noticed and made a face before she followed her friend.

She was immediately met with the smell of something burning, and she saw smoke coming out of the toaster. "Shit!" she exclaimed and ran to pull the plug. The two pieces of bread jumped up looking like coal. Bella looked over at Rosalie who was standing by the stove, stirring in a pan. "Why are you cooking?" she asked.

Rosalie shrugged. "I don't want to be a bad hostess."

Bella shook her head. "Rose, you're not a hostess, that guy isn't a guest, and you can't cook."

"Then you do it," she said, but Bella scoffed.

"I can't cook either, which is why we always eat cereal in the morning."

Edward entered the kitchen and wrinkled his nose, but he arranged his face to a more polite expression. "Smells like breakfast."

Rosalie offered him a sweet smile. "Yes. We're having omelet," she said and started to divide up a crumbly, lumpy mass on three plates. When she placed one in front of Edward by the table, he did his best to not look disgusted.

"Mm," he said. "This will be great." He nervously took some of the abused eggs on his fork. "This tastes"—he started to prepare a compliment, but as soon as the 'food' hit his tongue, he couldn't pretend anymore—"disgusting."

Bella and Rosalie, who'd both had the same experience with the failed omelet, didn't want to show they agreed with him.

"Then maybe you, Mr. smart-ass wants to fix something better," Bella challenged Edward, and he stood up from his seat with the plate in hand.

"Yes," he nodded. "I am positive." He put the plate in the sink and turned to the fridge to rummage through the contents. "What do you have? Alright, bell pepper, onion, tomato, some ham, and a cucumber. I should be able to whip something together with this."

Rosalie sidled up to him. "Really?" she asked sultrily.

Edward smirked and held up an onion. "Rosalie, could you be a sweetie and chop the onion for me?" he asked, obviously responding to her flirting.

She nodded. "I could do that."

Bella deftly stepped in between them as she wasn't interested in seeing the display between the two. She exaggerated a cough. "By the way, asking Rosalie to do something in the kitchen is like asking her to perform bypass surgery." She laughed, and Rosalie gave her an indignant look. Bella shrugged. "It's true."

Rosalie had to give her that one and rolled her eyes before turning back to Edward. "So you really know what you're doing?"

"I should hope so," he replied. "I'm a senior at Udub, and my major is culinary arts." He impressively flipped the knife in his hand and winked at her.

"Well, isn't that fantastic," Bella interjected to once again douse the heat between her best friend and the guy they barely knew.

Edward, who was quite fed up with Bella's negativity, turned to her. "I could use a dash of wine for this. Would you mind getting some for me?"

"Yeah, I guess I can collect it from the bottles from the party," she replied and grabbed one of said bottles from the counter. "Does it have to be the same color?" she asked while looking at the label, but when she didn't get an answer, she looked up only to see the other two giving each other lustful gazes again. Bella walked closer to the couple and wolf-whistled to get their attention. They immediately jumped apart. "Does it have to be the same _color_?" she repeated her question.

"Preferably," Edward replied with annoyance. He didn't enjoy this girl continuously cock-blocking him in the least.

Bella left the kitchen even though she didn't like leaving those two alone. Rosalie had a tendency to end up in bed with every guy she thought attractive, and the last thing Bella wanted was to accidentally walk in on the two doing the nasty with each other. She also tried to dismiss the hint of jealousy she felt over her friend receiving all of Edward's attention.

She knew she wasn't always the most pleasant person, especially in the mornings when she was sporting a hangover, but she'd been convinced they were trying the throw the guy out. Then Rosalie did a full one-eighty on her, and Bella was left looking like the vinegar while Rosalie was the honey.

In the kitchen, Rosalie and Edward were sitting by the table as he chopped up the bell pepper.

"So you're a full-time student?" she asked and nicked a piece of pepper from the cutting board.

Edward nodded. "Yeah, but I have a few gigs on the side at different pubs. It's always good with a bit of extra money when my student loan needs to be paid off."

Rosalie nodded and supported her chin on her hand. Neither of them had noticed Bella had come back.

"So what do you do?" Edward asked.

"I'm a meter-maid," Rosalie replied happily.

"No," he responded incredulously. "A meter-maid? Don't you think that's a bit of a waste of your"—he looked her up and down—"resources?"

Rosalie leaned forward and gave Edward a good look of her cleavage, which made Bella roll her eyes. "Well, what do you suggest I do then?"

"I don't know." Edward gave her an appreciative smile. "Modeling or dancing, or something like that."

Bella walked over to the stove where the onion was being softened. "I think you're burning the onion," she commented loudly, but it took a few seconds before Edward registered what she said.

When he did, he shot up from his seat and flitted over to the stove. Bella hopped up on the very counter she'd danced on the night before and watched while Edward worked. Rosalie joined them and patted Bella's thigh.

"Bella's also a student. Part-time though, and she also works at the local florist."

Edward nodded without taking his eyes from the pan. "How interesting," he said, but his tone made it clear he really didn't think so.

The doorbell rang, and Bella made a move to answer it, but Rosalie stopped her. "I'll get it," she insisted and left the kitchen in a hurry.

Edward gave her backside another lustful glance, but Bella snapped her fingers in front of his eyes.

"Keep your eyes on the onion, dude."

Rosalie opened the front door and was greeted by the wide smile of a young woman.

"Hi!" the woman said enthusiastically before entering the apartment.

"Uh, hi," Rosalie said, and her confusion was clear.

"I'm Jessica Stanley," the woman continued. "I'm here to look at a room."

"Right." Rosalie suddenly felt uncertain and called for Bella over her shoulder.

Bella came out from the kitchen, and Jessica shot forward to shake her hand.

"Hi, I'm Jessica Stanley! Nice to meet you," she said just as enthusiastically as before. "I heard your roommate was moving out. I heard it from a friend of a friend. I think the first friend was hers, the second was mine. Anyway, here you have me!" she spewed out and ended it with a giggle.

Bella blinked, somewhat taken aback by the girl in front of her, and she exchanged a look with Rosalie. "Yeah, there we have you..." she mumbled.

Jessica started to give herself the tour of the place and headed for the kitchen. Before either Bella or Rosalie could stop her, she stepped into the room and saw Edward standing by the counter in his borrowed silk robe. "Oh!" Jessica exclaimed in surprise. "Hello."

Rosalie and Bella quickly directed her out of the kitchen. "Yeah, we found him in the tub," Rosalie said as she didn't know how else to explain Edward's presence, in his particular state of dress, in any other way.

Jessica opened her mouth to ask, but Bella stopped her. "Yeah, the exterminators left him behind when they were here last week."

A squealing laugh left Jessica which caused Bella and Rosalie to jump in fright. "The exterminators! Aren't you funny!"

Bella exhaled and tried to keep her dislike of the woman off her face. "Look, Jessica, we—"

"Oh, call me Jess. All my BFF's call me that," she insisted with a wink.

"How nice," Bella commented. "So, _Jessica_, we have a lot of girls coming to look at the room, so—"

"We have?" Rosalie whispered in her ear.

"We better have," Bella hissed back.

Jessica held up her hands. "Say no more. I'll leave my number with you, and I'll wait for your call." She wrote her number on a piece of paper which she gave to Bella.

When the door had closed behind her, Rosalie and Bella gave each other a look before both shook their head. Jessica would have to wait for that call for a long time.

Edward exited from the kitchen, a dishcloth draped over his arm like a fancy waiter. That fact that he was still wearing the silk robe made the image even more comedic. "Madams, breakfast is served," he announced in a snobbish manner.

The girls walked into the kitchen, and Edward pulled out chairs for both of them, which sort of impressed Bella. When they were seated, he placed a plate in front of them, and the amazing aroma made Bella want to moan.

"Dig in," he said, and with slight caution, they started to eat.

As soon as the flavors melted in Bella's mouth, she did moan, and all caution was thrown to the wind and she started to eat in earnest. "_Mm_. Oh my god." She looked up from her plate for a second and noticed Edward was looking at her this time with the same interest he'd shown Rosalie earlier. To distract herself, Bella took another bite. "This is actually edible!"

"Not too bad, huh?" Edward said with a pleased smile. "Even though I never get the chance to really practice since I live on campus."

"You do?" Rosalie asked with her mouth full of food.

"Yeah," he said disappointedly and sighed. "Tiniest room with access to a hotplate, and that's the way it will continue to be until I can afford something else, or find someone to share an apartment with." He shrugged and didn't notice the girls had stopped eating simultaneously to share a look.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Rosalie asked carefully.

Bella swallowed. "I think so."

"Good!" Rosalie turned to Edward with a wide smile. "Hey, Edward. What would you think about mov—"

"Whoa!" Bella interrupted. "Time-out!" She stood up and motioned for Rosalie to do the same. "Committee meeting."

Rosalie looked at her questioningly. "Why?"

"Now." Bella grabbed her arm and dragged her out in the living room, and also made sure to close the door to the kitchen.

"There's nothing to talk about," Rosalie insisted. "He would be the perfect roommate."

"True," Bella agreed. "But we still need to go over the pros and cons first."

"Fine, then." Rosalie threw herself down on the couch. "Shoot."

"He's a perfect cook," Bella started.

"Pro," both said in unison.

"It would feel kind of safe to have a man in the house," Bella continued.

"Pro," both said again.

"He's hot."

"Pro," Rosalie said at the same time as Bella said; "Con."

"Con?"

"Yeah, of course," Bella said and climbed up on the backrest of the couch. "Didn't you see how he checked you out before? And I know you, Rose. You have zero restraint when it comes to guys like him."

"So?"

"So? If you get into bed with him while he's living here and it doesn't work out between you two, we'll have to start looking for a new roommate _again_."

Rosalie sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right. Do you remember how things went with Nick?"

"Nick was nice," Rosalie protested. "And he said he only wanted a friend."

"Right," Bella said. "And later that night, that _friend_ tied you up to his bedpost?"

Rosalie started laughing as she remembered that particular night. "Yeah, that was a _very_ pleasant surprise." Bella joined in her laughter. "But I promise, I will be strong this time."

Bella shook her head. "Sorry, babe, but it's not gonna work."

"Why not?" Rosalie whined.

"Because you don't have an immune system." Bella climbed off the couch. "There's only one thing to do."

"Yes," Rosalie agreed and stood up as well. "You'll have to be strong for the both of us." She opened the door to the kitchen and caught Edward eavesdropping.

He smiled, embarrassed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to … uh … actually, I was—"

Rosalie shrugged. "Okay, well you obviously already know what we're gonna ask, so what do you say?"

"Do you really want me to move in here with you two?" he asked with a hopeful smile. "Are you serious?"

Bella knew she had lost, so she nodded silently along with Rosalie.

"But we share everything here, just so you know," Rosalie said, and Edward looked both of them over with a suggestive grin.

"I'm fine with that."

Bella crossed her arms and got up in his face. "She's talking about food, rent, bills, electricity."

"Yeah, yeah." Edward waved her away. "I get that."

"So what do you say?" she asked and waited without uncrossing her arms. Edward didn't understand why she was so defensive.

"I'll have to think about it," he said even though he had already made up his mind. He just enjoyed building up the tension. "Alright, then," he finally said.

"Great," Bella said and grabbed his arm. "Then we'll just lay down some ground rules." She dragged him into the sparsely furnished bedroom. "_This_ is your room." She pushed him down on the bed and he almost landed face first. When he looked back at Bella, he was somewhat scared and disoriented. She pointed toward the two bedrooms across the living room. "_Those_ are _our_ rooms"—she leaned down over him and pointed at his chest threateningly—"and if you get any bodily fluids in the wrong territory, we'll have to take you to the vet." She finished off her threat by making a scissor motion with her fingers. "Got it?"

He nodded. "Loud and clear."

"Perfect," she said much more sweetly than before. Rosalie came up behind her. "Then the only thing left do is to say: Welcome to your new home, Edward Cullen."

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**A/N:**

This is a multi-chap so this is definitely not the end; only the beginning xD So what did you think of it? Are you interested in reading more, or should I stop right here?

Fair warning, updates on this story will be slow and sporadic because as I said on top, I'm only writing on this story in between my other ones and I need to jolt my inspiration a bit ;-)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

Okay, wow, you guys! The response to this in just one day has been insane! Thank you so much. I have a feeling this might become my most popular story yet, and I just had to give you another chapter to show my gratitude :-P

Now, a few of you took notice of something, and that is that the plot is very close to a TV-show from the 70s called **Three's Company**. Did you know that the show was actually based on a **British sitcom called A Man About the House** which had its premiere in **1973**? And that in **1996, a Swedish version of the same story and plot was born**?

I, actually, had no idea all three shows were pretty much exactly the same, and I based this story on the Swedish version set in the 90s xP There will be a lot of similarities to the shows, but I will also deviate from the original plot to create my own scenes and story-lines :D

Now, a lot of you are worried that Edward and Rosalie will do the "nasty" but I assure you, that won't happen. **This is BxE pairing**, and I said so in the 1st chapter's AN as well. However, if you don't like to see the characters flirt and have fun with others than just each other, then I'm sorry, I'm not the writer for you.

Lastly, to the guest reviewer, the lovely Kathy, so Rosalie seems like a slut? And...? So what?

**Title: **Three's a Crowd

**Author: **MarieCarro

**Genre: **Comedy/Romance

**Rating: **NC-17

**Summary: **Bella and Rosalie are roommates and best friends. When the third friend of their BFF trio moves out to live with her boyfriend and her newborn baby, the girls need to find someone new, and it appears that someone just happens to stumble into their laps.

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

"We'll help you with all your boxes, Edward," Rosalie said when Edward came through the front door with his first bag, but before she could pass him, he stopped her.

"Oh no, don't worry about that. It's not on you two," he insisted.

"It's not more than right," Rosalie said. "I mean, if it was one of us moving in, you'd help us, so let us help you." She gave him a smile and turned to Bella. "C' mon."

Bella wasn't in the most willing of moods to carry a bunch of heavy boxes, but she knew she hadn't made the best first impression on Edward, so she reluctantly followed Rosalie outside.

Luckily, since Edward had lived on campus previously, he didn't have a whole lot of stuff, and it only took a couple turns for the three of them to get it all into the apartment. They put it all in his new room, but when that was done, they shared a somewhat awkward moment which was always reserved for people who didn't really know each other that well yet.

"I guess I should start unpacking, then," he said, and crouched down, but Bella had made a decision. If the three of them were going to live together, they needed to get to know each other properly.

"Maybe you could do that later," she said somewhat self-consciously. "I was thinking the three of us could have a drink at Murrey's and, you know, talk." She saw how Edward hesitated. "I'll buy," she quickly offered, hoping to show him that she wasn't really the bitch he most likely thought she was.

It didn't appear to sway him, though.

"I have a test in nutrition first thing in the morning, and I need a good night's sleep, so not tonight." Of course, Edward saw the disappointment in Bella's eyes, and he didn't want her to think it was because of her he was saying no. "But definitely another time, okay?"

"Sure." She nodded, and another awkward pause ensued.

"It's nice to finally have you here," Rosalie said to break the silence, but it didn't have the desired effect because Edward's attention was drawn to her physical appeal once again. Not that it was really his fault. Rosalie had dressed in a very tight shirt that emphasized pretty much everything.

"Ahem." Bella cleared her throat, already fed up with pushing those two apart. "Don't you have _something_ to do, Rose?" Rosalie looked at her innocently and Bella nodded pointedly toward the grocery bags they hadn't had the time to unpack yet. They had shopped on Edward's request as he'd said he wanted to make a nice dinner for them as thanks for letting him move in.

"Right!" Rosalie turned back to Edward with a wide and happy smile. "Come with me to the kitchen and show me what you can do?"

Edward's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Right now?" he asked.

Bella bent down and grabbed a bag of groceries which she then handed roughly to Edward. "She's talking about the food. Nothing else."

Realizing he'd made a fool of himself, Edward shook his head and scratched the back of it to hide his embarrassment. "Right."

Just as the three of them were about to go into the kitchen, Rosalie's cell rang and she handed her bag to Bella to answer it. Bella and Edward proceeded to the kitchen and started to put the groceries away.

"Look, Bella..." Edward started. "I don't want you to think I'm some douche or anything."

"What do you mean?" she asked but didn't stop unpacking the food.

"Out there with Rosalie … I mean, I know what you said when I accepted your offer for me to move in. I'm just not used to living with girls and what she said—"

Bella laughed softly, and he gave her a questioning look. "Oh, don't worry about that. Rose has that effect on guys." Bella used the green end of a fresh leek to tap her chin. "She has this raw sexual magnetism which no one's immune to. I mean, you should have seen how I was when she and I first moved in together. Man, that woman knows how to kiss."

Edward stopped mid-action. "What?"

"Oh yeah!" Bella continued, pretending as if she hadn't noticed Edward's reaction. "She has the softest lips. I think it's because of all that chapstick she uses."

"Oh." Edward blinked slowly, not at all sure what to say. "So you're saying you're … uhm … a—"

"Edward."

"What?" He looked at her and finally saw her shit eating grin.

"I'm fucking with you." She hit him lightly on the arm. "Sorry. I thought it was best to introduce my weird humor right away." The groceries were all put away, so Bella jumped up on the counter next to Edward who was feeling as if he'd entered some strange parallel universe with these girls he now found himself living with. "You're gonna have to get used to it. I get a strange sense of satisfaction from making people feel uncomfortable."

Edward tried to laugh, but he was still feeling weird after Bella's joke. The sheer disappointment he'd felt when he for that short moment thought she was gay had been a bit staggering.

Rosalie came running into the kitchen with horrified, panicked eyes. "Oh my god, Bella, that was my mom on the phone! She said she'll be here _any minute_."

"Wow, really? What's she doing in town?" Bella asked.

"There was some conference with someone boring. I don't know." Rosalie waved it away. "It doesn't matter anyway. What matters is she'll freak out if she finds out we have a _guy_ living here." She pointed at Edward with her thumb.

Edward immediately tried to calm her down. "Relax, Rosalie. It's 2019. Lots of guys and girls live together now."

"Yeah, but my mom thinks it's _19_19," Rosalie replied with an unamused smile. "She's crazily conservative and very religious."

"So I'll talk to her and allow her to get to know me," Edward suggested as he still didn't see the problem, but Rosalie was already shaking her head.

"No, you absolutely _can't_ talk to her!" She turned to Bella. "Please, please, take him with you to Murrey's. Now, _please_!" She started to push the two of them out of the kitchen toward the front door. "And keep him there!"

"But I have to study!" Edward protested, but Rosalie was already shutting the front door behind them. Edward looked sideways at Bella. "Seriously? I doubt her mom can be that bad."

"Ha! Be glad you won't have to meet her," Bella replied and then nodded with her head for the two of them to head to the cozy little Irish pub just down the street where she and Rosalie were regulars.

Edward hung back as they entered the pub, but Bella immediately went up to the bartender.

"What's up, Felix?"

"Hey, Bella," he said happily, yet somewhat confused. "A bit early, isn't it? I don't usually see you around here until nine."

Bella shrugged. "Yeah, well, apparently the Inquisition decided to drop by for an unannounced visit, so I was banished here until further notice." She turned to Edward who was standing awkwardly behind here. "Meet Edward. Our new roommate."

"Cool." Felix reached over the bar to offer his hand and Edward accepted it. "I'm Felix. I've been taking care of the girls' drinks for the last two years. Nice to see some testosterone in the mix."

Bella scoffed. "Oh no, Felix! Edward here has more estrogen than Rosalie and I put together." She mockingly held up her hand over her mouth as she stage-whispered to the bartender. "She just started on her hormones for her transition."

"What?" Edward exclaimed. "No, I'm not—" Before he could get a sentence out, Felix laughed loudly and held out a calming hand for him.

"Don't worry, man. She does that."

Bella winked before she took the beers Felix had poured them and chose a table. Edward shook his head because while he thought Bella was attractive, he didn't fully get her humor yet.

"Hey," Felix said, and Edward turned to him. "It will calm down, I promise. You're just in the hazing phase right now. It's her way of welcoming you. I know it's weird, but the faster you start teasing her back, the faster it'll all pass."

"Thanks for the advice," Edward said, but couldn't help make a face before he joined Bella by the table.

Back at the apartment, Rosalie opened the front door, and a woman who looked a lot like her came marching in.

"Hi—"

"I've never in my entire life experienced such traffic before," Mrs. Hale said instead of greeting her daughter. She was carrying a large suitcase which she dumped in the hall before continuing to the living room where she sat down in a chair with a sigh.

Rosalie walked tensely in after her. "Hi, _mom_."

"Hi, sweetie. Do you have something I can prop my feet up on? These shoes will be the death of me."

"Uh, maybe you want something to eat?" Rosalie asked while she pushed the leg rest closer to her mom. "I could—"

"Oh no, I don't have time for that," Mrs. Hale said. "No, I'm hasting off soon. I was given a seat back home on a bus a youth choir's using for their gospel tour. I just need to be by the cathedral when they leave."

"How wonderful!" Rosalie replied a little bit too enthusiastically, and Mrs. Hale gave her a speculative look.

"What do you mean?"

"Uh..." She scrambled through her brain for something to cover up her faux pas. "I mean, the choir! How wonderful to hear youths dedicate themselves to a gospel tour in the Lord's name." Mrs. Hale smiled, appeased by her daughter's words. "So, how's Dad?" Rosalie asked to change the subject.

"He's fine." Mrs. Hale fixed her daughter with a stern look. "But you should know he worries about you."

"But Mom, I—"

"We both do." She threw her arms out. "Why do you have to live in this horrible town?"

"Mom, I'm—"

"No, you don't have to tell me. I know San Francisco basically is Sodom and Gomorrah! Especially in the summer. I've heard such stories about university students who give into carnal temptations and start orgies in the middle of the street."

Rosalie let out a nervous laugh. "I can't say I've come across any orgies lately."

"Thank heavens for that!" Mrs. Hale stood up and placed both hands on Rosalie's cheeks. "Be thankful you have been spared from the chains of sin." She placed a kiss on her forehead and smiled sweetly. "Enough about that. How're your roommates? Alice and Bella, wasn't it?"

"Bella is great," Rosalie said and tried to hold on to her smile. "Alice is also great. She moved out, actually. She got married and has a baby now."

Mrs. Hale smiled excitedly toward that news. "Really? Well, that's nice to hear. But have you found another girl to rent her old room then?"

Rosalie tried to come up with anything to say, but her head was empty. "Uh, no, we haven't found a _girl—_"

Mrs. Hale enveloped Rosalie in her arms. "That's perfect. Then I don't have to take the bus tonight, thankfully! It would have taken all night, but now I can sleep here and go back home tomorrow instead." She left Rosalie in the living room to fetch her suitcase and headed for Edward's room.

Rosalie started to panic as she had no idea what the hell she was going to do now.

**~~TAC~~**

"Have another beer," Bella tried. She could see that Edward was in a bad mood now, and she could understand why. Few people liked to disrupt their own plans on someone else's behalf. Especially someone they didn't know very well.

"No, we've been here for hours. I want to go home," he said sourly. "I want to go back to my room, which I've almost paid for, and I want to sleep in my bed. No more beer!"

Bella sighed. "C' mon, I'm sure we won't have to stay here much long—" Her cell phone lit up and Rosalie's name was on the display. "See, I told you. She's calling now. Hello?"

"_Bella, big problems! Mom decided to stay here for the night!"_

"What? What do you mean she decided to stay?"

Edward's eyes widened worriedly since he only heard one end of the conversation.

"_Well, I couldn't lie to her about Alice moving out, and since I couldn't tell her Edward's renting the room now, she thought it was available, so she's not leaving until tomorrow."_

"Then what the hell is Edward supposed to do now?"

"_I don't know, but Bella, please help me out here! He can't come back here! My mom will kill me, and—... I gotta go."_

The phone clicked as Rosalie hung up, and Bella grimaced at it. "You've gotta be kidding me," she mumbled in annoyance.

"What?" Edward asked, seriously concerned now.

Bella groaned and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "It appears Mrs. Hale has decided to sleep over tonight, and therefore, Rosalie says you can't go back home."

Edward gave her an incredulous look. "I _have_ to get home," he said. "Remember I said I have a test tomorrow?"

"Yes, I do remember, Edward, but you don't know Mrs. Hale. I'm telling you, Rosalie wasn't exaggerating before. Last time I met that woman, she hounded me about how I should find a husband so that I could be a good role model to Rosalie."

"Fine." Edward threw his hands out helplessly. "I get that, and I would love to go on an impromptu vacation to Ibiza, but I haven't heard of any flights available for ten dollars!" A yawn escaped him, and he looked apologetically at Bella. "Look, I've already stayed out longer than what I was supposed to, and I really need to get some sleep before my test, so I'm sorry, but I'm going home now." He stood up from his seat and turned to the exit.

"But you _can't_," Bella insisted and hurried to place herself between him and the door. "Rosalie's mom sleeps in the extra bed now!"

"No, no!" Edward held up his hand in front of her and shook his head. "There is no extra bed. It's _my_ bed, and now I'm going home to _my_ room, and _my_ bed, and taking off my clothes to sleep there and if someone's lying there already, then it's not my problem." He walked around her, but just as he exited the door, Rosalie entered and pushed him back inside.

"Sit down, please," she said and gestured for the both of them to go back to their table. "Look, I have an idea."

"I want my bed," Edward simply said, and it was clear that alcohol mixed with tiredness wasn't a good combination for Edward Cullen because he sounded quite whiny. Not that Bella blamed him.

"But you haven't heard my idea yet."

Edward turned to Rosalie and made sure to emphasize every word. "I. Want. My. Bed."

Bella placed her hand on his leg and he looked down at it as the touch had shocked him. "Please, just listen to her."

"He can sleep in my room," Rosalie said, but Edward didn't really listen because he was still looking at Bella.

"I want my be—" He stopped mid-sentence when he finally registered her words and turned to Rosalie. A ridiculous smile stretched over his face which caused Bella to roll her eyes. "You know, I'm not going to be difficult."

"Great," Rosalie said, but Bella was already shaking her head.

"Absolutely not. The ground rules are still in place, and I'm not trusting the two of you being alone the entire night." She crossed her arms and looked at them. "He can sleep in my room. At least then neither of us will have to explain to your mom tomorrow what those strange noises were coming from your room."

Rosalie giggled unabashedly while Edward looked somewhat disappointed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Okay then, we'll sneak him into your room, and Mom won't ever have to find out." She walked back out of the pub with lighter steps, but before Bella could follow, Edward stopped her with a teasing look in his eyes.

"You know, Bella, maybe your bed is big enough for all three of us." He was grinning at her, and she knew he was messing with her because Bella had a sixth sense when it came to things like that, and so she decided to encourage him.

"You're right! I'm sure it is," she agreed. "I didn't even think of that." She started to lean in as if she was going to kiss him. "We'd have so much fun together, wouldn't we?" she whispered against his lips, but as Edward was about to make the last move and actually kiss her, she pinched him on the arm.

He flinched hard. "Ouch," he complained and rubbed his arm.

Bella was still grinning. "Watch it, pretty boy, or I'll have Felix douse you with ice." She jumped down from the stool and exited the pub.

Still, sort of indignantly, rubbing the spot Bella had pinched, Edward followed her out.

It was dark in the apartment when the three of them returned, and they tried to be as quiet as possible in the hallway. Rosalie tip-toed up to the door of Edward's room and listened for sounds which indicated her mom was asleep. When she heard it, she gave the other two a thumbs up.

Unfortunately, Edward was starting to feel the effects of the six beers he'd had at the pub, and like every intoxicated person, he wasn't really good at determining the volume of his movements.

Rosalie hushed him when he accidentally shut the front door too hard, and for some reason, he started to hiccup.

"Sorry." He thought he mouthed the word, but when Bella hushed him again, he understood he'd most likely said it out loud.

"You're gonna wake the entire building if you keep doing that," Rosalie whispered harshly, indicating toward his continued hiccups.

The three of them reached Bella's room and shut the door.

"If you have a paper bag or something, I know how I can make it stop," Edward said and ended it with another hiccup.

"We have those in the kitchen. I'll get one for you," Bella said, but Edward stopped her.

"I can get a paper bag on my own."

She hesitated but then agreed. "Okay, fine, but don't tear down the building on your way there. You _have_ to be quiet."

"Well, I'm going to bed. See you two tomorrow." Rosalie left Bella's room and headed inside her own while Edward went for the kitchen to get a paper bag.

As he rummaged through the cabins, he suddenly heard steps out in the hall.

"Rosalie? Is that you?"

The voice was unfamiliar to him, and he realized it was Mrs. Hale. Edward panicked and looked around for a place to hide, but the only place he could fit in was the closet where the girls kept their cleaning supplies.

He quickly jumped in there but wasn't able to close the door completely before Mrs. Hale entered the kitchen. She took a quick look around, noticed the ajar door and shrugged to herself before closing it completely.

Edward held his breath and suppressed the hiccups as much as he could until he heard Mrs. Hale leave the kitchen. Then he exhaled with relief and almost fell out of the closet. He quietly wrestled with the vacuum cleaner which refused to remain in the closet and then made a break for Bella's room.

Bella gasped in shock when he burst through her door. "Shit, you almost scared me to death."

"Sorry," he said, and then suddenly noticed his hiccups were gone. Apparently, he'd been so scared of Mrs. Hale finding him that he'd cured himself. "Hey, I'm cured."

"Great. Here." Bella threw a t-shirt at him. "It's the biggest one I have. You can borrow it to sleep in."

"Thanks." He started to undress, and Bella did her best to keep her face indifferent as he pulled off his pants. She was the one who set the ground rules, so she couldn't exactly break them, even though she really wanted to as she looked at Edward's toned torso.

"We're gonna have to share the bed, but keep your hands to yourself, okay?" she warned him.

"With the way I'm feeling right now, I think I should be the one worried about being taken advantage of," he replied with a smirk. Bella laughed quietly because even though the reason for Edward's lowered inhibitions was the alcohol he'd consumed, she enjoyed that teasing side of him. It was very entertaining.

"Don't worry," she reassured him. "If I lay so much as a finger on you tonight, I'll turn myself in. You're completely safe."

"Too bad," he murmured. "I might actually have liked it." Edward sort of stumbled toward the other side of the bed and crawled in under the covers while Bella did the same on her side. "Good night, Bella," he mumbled out through a yawn.

"Good night, Edward."

* * *

**A/N:**

If you're wondering, I am not making fun of religious people. Mrs. Hale is a parody, exaggeration, and caricature!

Some of you didn't feel Edward showed any interest at all in Bella in the previous chapter. How about now? xD


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

I'm a sucker for your comments on this one! I'm loving them more than the story, and you have no idea how happy I am that you think this is funny.

Once again, Yes, this is a B/E story. This is the last time I'm saying this, so if you chose to not read the AN, then that's up to you. I won't answer any more questions in reviews asking if this is B/E because I've already said it in every chapter AN xD

And, once again, if you're strict on B/E only being with each other (i.e. flirting, not necessarily kissing and dating) and can't stand reading about them reacting or even being attracted to others, this is definitely not the story for you.

I'm here to have fun with these characters, and they'll be put in really absurd situations :-P

**Title: **Three's a Crowd

**Author: **MarieCarro

**Genre: **Comedy/Romance

**Rating: **NC-17

**Summary: **Bella and Rosalie are roommates and best friends. When the third friend of their BFF trio moves out to live with her boyfriend and her newborn baby, the girls need to find someone new, and it appears that someone just happens to stumble into their laps.

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

Edward woke up when the alarm he'd set on his phone rang through the room, but when he reached for it to turn it off, he found himself unable to move. Perplexed, he looked down and realized he was immobilized because Bella was absolutely draped over him.

She hadn't woken up by his alarm, but she reacted to his movements by tightening the hold she had on his borrowed shirt and the leg over his hips hooked him closer to her.

The alarm was still ringing on his phone, but Edward could barely concentrate on that because suddenly, a soft moan left Bella, right by his ear. It caused a surge to run through Edward's body and his morning wood stirred in his underwear.

He momentarily cursed himself for having accepted to move in with two girls he found so hot he sometimes felt like crying. He wanted to respect Bella's ground rules, but at the same time, there was nothing he wanted more than to wake her up and kiss her senseless before gladly skipping the test if that gave him the chance to go a round or two under the covers with her.

"Bella," he whispered, hoping it would be enough to wake her up, but it did nothing except making her move again, or more like rub the length of her body against his side.

He groaned and shut his eyes tightly. "Emmett's feet and his hairy toes," he mumbled to himself, hoping the image of his friend's feet would calm the emergency situation downstairs.

Edward had a good guess as to what Bella was dreaming about from the sounds and the movements she made, and while it absolutely killed him, he knew he had no choice but to let her finish her dream and then hope she'd release him. It had gone too far now. If she woke up prematurely, she'd be beyond embarrassed, and Edward didn't want to subject her to that.

He closed his eyes and waited, but then, the last thing he wanted to happen happened.

Bella's hand promptly settled on his crotch, and he drew in a sharp breath. He had to get away from her _now_.

Using whatever acrobatic skills he had, Edward slowly slid out of bed, tried to not scream when Bella's hand minutely tightened around his little guy, and ungracefully plopped down on the floor with a muted thud.

Out of everything that had happened, _that_ was what woke Bella up.

"Edward?" she asked groggily. "What are you doing on the floor?"

"Uuh." He stared up at the ceiling as he tried to come up with a good reason, but his brain refused to be a good sport. "It's good for my back."

Bella gave him a questioning look. "O-kay."

He cleared his throat. "I have to go to the bathroom," he said and quickly made his retreat, hoping Bella hadn't taken notice of the tent in his underwear. However, since the day was obviously not Edward's lucky day, he was soon met with another hurdle as soon as he exited the room.

"Oh! Hello," the woman on the couch said, and Edward immediately saw that it was Rosalie's infamous mother, and he wanted the ground to swallow him. "I have to say, Bella, you look very different in the morning," the woman said with a hint of a smile, but her eyes were hard and filled with judgment.

Edward was speechless. He couldn't think of a thing to say. The only thing he could do was strategically place himself behind one of the living room plants to hide his lower body.

"Baby? Is everything alright?" Bella called behind him before she appeared and pretended to be surprised to see Rosalie's mom. "Mrs. Hale! Hi! How are you?" she asked pleasantly before purposely placing herself in a position next to Edward that made their relationship appear more intimate than it was.

"Bella, sweetie!" Mrs. Hale exclaimed and stood up to greet her daughter's best friend. "It's so good to see you. How're your classes? And who is this young man?"

Bella didn't even miss a beat as she answered. "Classes are great, and this is Edward. My fiance."

Not for the first time since he woke up in the girls' bathtub, Edward wondered if he'd entered the Twilight Zone.

Mrs. Hale smiled at Bella, but still looked back and forth between them with worried eyes. "And he spent the night?"

Before Bella answered her, she turned to Edward. "Weren't you going to shower before going to class?"

He was beyond relieved when she gave him the chance to flee the surreal conversation. "Yes, I was." He gave Mrs. Hale, what he hoped was, an apologetic smile, but he was still reeling from shock. "Excuse me, ma'am. I have a test this morning, so I have to get going."

"Of course." Mrs. Hale nodded, but as Edward almost ran to the bathroom, he still heard her worried words to Bella. "Sweetie, I would appreciate if you could hold off on inviting him over to spend the night, at least until you're married. I don't think it would leave Rose with a good impression if she's exposed to sinful behavior."

He didn't hear anything else before he shut the bathroom door and breathed out a huge sigh of relief.

**~~TAC~~**

"Welcome home, Mr. Swan," Rosalie said through a snort when Edward walked through the door. "Your wifey's in the kitchen."

Edward rolled his eyes at her. "It's been two months, Rose. When will that joke get old?"

She tapped her chin with the nail file in her hand. "Uh, how about never?" She grinned even wider. "Mom still asks me about when the wedding is."

"Then tell her it's on February 30th next year," he answered and placed the box in his hands on the table.

Rosalie immediately stopped teasing him. "Is that the cake?" Rosalie asked quietly and cautiously looked toward the kitchen to make sure Bella wasn't listening.

"Yeah." He curiously eyed the package she was pulling out from between the cushions of the futon chair, and placed it on the table next to the cake. "So what did you buy for her?"

"A really cute scarf," Rosalie replied proudly. "And it's not just cute. It works perfectly with my wardrobe as well."

Edward didn't really get the logic but nodded anyway. "Smart."

"Right?"

"Unfortunately, I have nothing to spend on a gift." He sighed, but then winked at her. "I guess I'll just have to gift myself."

Rosalie had already anticipated he would say something like that. "You should totally do that," she agreed with a mock-serious expression. "I hear the marriage bed is a little dry lately."

They both laughed at their equal silliness before Edward headed for the kitchen to wish Bella a happy birthday. He hadn't gotten the chance that morning as he had to hurry to class.

Bella was bent over, rummaging around the lower cupboard and she was wearing headphones while dancing and singing along to the music, so she didn't hear Edward approach her from behind.

Unable to pass up the opportunity, Edward started dancing along right behind her. When Bella turned around, she screamed in surprise and fright at finding him so close.

He laughed at her, and she hit him on the chest.

"Don't do that!"

"But it's so much fun."

Bella rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever."

He held up his hands in surrender. "If you're gonna be like that, fine. I was gonna surprise you with a proper birthday kiss."

"Well, go on then," she encouraged and turned her face to him to make her lips more available.

Edward leaned forward, but last minute turned his cheek to her. "Nope. You had your chance. It's too late now. I'll just go see if Rosalie wants it instead." He moved to walk back to the living room, but Bella stopped him by gently grabbing his arm.

When he turned back to her, she got up on the counter, her legs somewhat parted, leaning back to invite him in. "It's okay, Edward. I'm not strict on the rules today." Her words were soft and not a hint of teasing in sight. She even beckoned him forward with her finger.

With a wide grin, Edward closed in on her, and while he expected her to turn him away like she always did, he was happily surprised when she didn't, and their lips met for the first time.

Ever since he had moved in two months ago, and he had woken up in Bella's bed, he had dreamt of that very moment. Maybe it caused him to go in with too much intensity, but it didn't matter because Bella didn't mind.

In fact, she appeared to react just as intensely, and she locked her legs around his waist before leaning back on the counter to lay down.

Once both of them needed to come up for air, they were gasping and barely dared to look at each other; both embarrassed by their reactions and laughed awkwardly.

"Wow," Edward breathed out, and Bella cleared her throat.

"Heh, yeah. Thank you … for the … uh, gift," she said.

"The pleasure was all mine," Edward replied with a smile and then noticed that Bella's necklace chain had gotten stuck in his shirt pocket.

"We appear to be stuck together," Bella giggled, still riding high from the endorphins swimming in her brain.

Edward went with it. "Maybe that means we should go for an encore." He was smirking, and Bella found herself faltering. Apparently, she was the one without an immune system, not Rosalie.

They closed in on each other again, but just as their lips brushed against each other, Bella put her hand over his mouth.

"Sorry! No," she said even though she really didn't want to. "I think we should save that for next year."

"Right." Edward was very disappointed but tried to not show it. Instead, he focused on releasing the necklace from his shirt.

"Please be careful," Bella asked. "It means a lot to me."

"Yeah? Why?"

"I got it from my grandma. There used to be a really beautiful pendant on it."

"What happened to it?"

"I had to pawn it three weeks ago. You know, when we struggled with the rent?"

Edward nodded. "Right, yeah." He finally got the chain loose. "There you go."

"Thanks."

"You know," he started, and Bella heard in the tone of his voice that he was going to tease her again. "If you miss having something hanging between your breasts, I don't mind staying in this position for a while." They were still, sort of, interlocked, because he was still standing between Bella's thighs.

Once again, their lips met for a short second, but Bella was reaching for a bowl behind her at the same time; a bowl full of ice.

"Edward," she breathed against his mouth.

"Mhm?"

She showed him the ice cubes in her hand before she shoved them inside his shirt. "You looked like you needed to cool off."

He started to jump around in the kitchen to get the ice out of his shirt, and Bella hopped off the counter to dance in front of him. When he finally fished the ice out of his clothes, he held it up in front of her threateningly.

"No," she said. "Don't."

He just nodded with a smile, and Bella took off running out of the kitchen. She didn't get far before he caught her and wrestled her down onto the couch while Rosalie cheered them on.

The doorbell rang, and Rosalie went to open it as Edward and Bella untangled their limbs from each other, still laughing hard.

Outside the door, their landlord, Fred Varner, stood with an uncertain smile. The building they were living in wasn't particularly big, and Fred liked to regularly visit his tenants to make sure everything was alright. Rosalie and Bella also happened to be his favorite tenants—he always insisted on them calling him by his first name—and it had become his mission to get to know Edward better.

"Hi kids," he greeted, but then turned to Bella and Rosalie. "Girls, would you mind if Edward and I spoke in private for a minute?"

"Sure," Rosalie agreed and she and Bella went to the kitchen.

Edward sat down on the couch and invited Fred to join him.

"Okay then," the older man started. "Edward, how do you like living here so far?"

"I like it just fine, Fred."

"And you don't think I'm intruding in any way, do you?"

"No, not at all."

Fred cleared his throat. "Good. Good. Actually, I was wondering about something. Have you gone out with a girl before?"

Edward blinked in confusion toward the question and wasn't completely sure how to answer him. "Uh, yeah. I have. What about it?"

"Just a little thing, really. You see, my niece from Idaho is visiting, and I was wondering if you could, maybe, take her out tonight? Show her the city?"

"Go out with your niece?" Edward asked for clarification. "Why can't you show her the city yourself?"

The man chuckled. "Oh, you know, my wife says I'm boring, and the girl should have fun while she's here, don't you think? You could take her out dancing or something like that."

"Right."

"Great!" Fred exclaimed. "It's settled then." He stood up and Edward mimicked him.

"Actually, Fred, it's not. I can't tonight," Edward said, and the older man's smile fell.

"Why not?"

"It's Bella's birthday, and we're celebrating. I'm cooking dinner for us." Edward walked to the front door to open it.

"But … but can't you postpone the celebration until tomorrow?" he pleaded. "My niece is going back home tomorrow night."

Edward shook his head. "Sorry, Fred. But thanks for the offer." He only said it to be polite because he honestly felt a bit uncomfortable with the thought of going out with the landlord's niece. Who said he wouldn't be kicked out of the girl didn't have a good time?

Fred left, and Bella and Rosalie re-entered the living room, giggling.

"Are you sure you've gone out with girls before, Edward?" Rosalie asked him as the trio sat down on the couch.

"You listened to everything?"

"Of course," Bella instantly confirmed. "And it was very sweet of you to reject him for my sake." She planted a kiss on his cheek.

Edward reached out and placed one arm around each girl. "Sweet is my middle name, but honestly, I didn't just do it for you?"

"You didn't?"

"No. I know you say the Varners' are good landlords, but I can't help but wonder why he asked me. He barely knows me, and now he wants me to take out his niece." He shook his head. "Something was weird about that, and I'd rather not risk being kicked out."

"Totally," Bella agreed. "I mean, who would cook our food if you were kicked out."

In response to her comment, Edward started tickling both girls, and they writhed as they tried to get away from him, their laughter echoing around the room.

The doorbell rang again, and this time, Fred let himself in.

"Hi again," he said, but Edward's sigh interrupted him.

"Fred, I thought I said no."

"You did, but I just thought it would be fun for you three to meet my niece." He leaned out into the corridor. "Tanya, come here."

The girl was their age, and Edward's jaw slackened when he saw her. She was definitely more attractive than he would have guessed, and the clothes she was wearing showed off her athletic build.

Fred gestured toward Edward. "Tanya, that's Edward right there, and the girls are Rosalie and Bella."

Tanya waved and smiled flirtatiously at Edward. "Hi there."

Edward swallowed hard. "Hi."

"Edward, can I talk to you again?" Fred asked and motioned for the two of them to go to the kitchen.

Edward complied, somewhat in a daze. He had gotten fairly used to being around hot girls lately since he lived with two of them, but seeing a third in the mix had almost become too much for him.

"Here." Fred offered Edward an envelope.

"What's this?"

"Look inside."

He opened the envelope and pulled out several large bills, and he gaped in astonishment. "This is 200 dollars. Why are you giving me this?"

"Because I really need you to take Tanya out tonight."

Edward exhaled sharply and started to say no again, but Fred fished out his car keys and handed them to him.

"I'll even let you borrow my car. Just entertain her, and I'll be forever grateful."

"What kind of entertainment are you suggesting, Fred? Because I kinda feel like I'm being pimped out here." Edward smiled to soften the jab he'd taken on the landlord.

Luckily, Fred had a sense of humor, but he was also completely serious when he gave a warning. "I don't want to hear of any shenanigans between you two, okay? Tanya's my niece. You do well to remember that."

In the living room, Tanya was talking to Bella and Rosalie.

"It's fun to visit, but I can't help but wonder if Uncle Fred has hit his head or something."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"He doesn't seem to remember anything that has happened since the American Revolution."

The three girls laughed heartily at the joke, and right at that moment, Fred and Edward came back from the kitchen.

"Right then," Fred said with a newly invigorated smile. "Tanya, come where. Edward has a question to ask."

Edward looked uncomfortable and cleared his throat several times. "I was just wondering if you'd like to go out with me tonight," he finally said, his tone less than enthusiastic.

Tanya lit up. "I'd love to. Just give me a moment to change clothes."

Fred nodded. "Yeah, she just needs to freshen up a bit, but Edward will wait, right?"

"Sure," he replied and went to put on his jacket.

Rosalie was holding Bella's hand in hers because Bella was shocked to hear Edward was ditching them now. "Edward, what about Bella's birthday dinner?"

Edward leaned on the back of the couch. "It's in the oven. Just take it out in twenty minutes, and you'll be fine. I'll come home as soon as I can." He gently patted them on the back, but Bella barely felt it.

She had foolishly thought Edward would choose her birthday over a hot stranger because he was her friend, and maybe even a little bit more than that, but he'd just proved her very wrong. "But—"

Edward held up the door for Tanya. "After you."

"Such a gentleman," Tanya gushed and then waved goodbye to the girls. Edward left after her, but Fred lingered.

"That Edward's a great guy," he said to Bella and Rosalie. "You chose well when you let him move in here." He left as well, but the door remained open.

Bella, feeling infuriated at being dumped on her birthday, angrily slammed the door shut and leaned back against it, her arms crossed. "A fucktard, you mean," she fumed. Rosalie went up to her and gave her a comforting hug.

**~~TAC~~**

It was way past midnight when Edward finally returned home with Tanya. Since he'd borrowed the car from Fred, he was still sober, but Tanya had consumed more than one drink.

"Goodnight then," Edward told her politely and made the move toward the elevator, but Tanya stopped him.

"Don't you want to come in for a while?" she asked in a seductive voice.

"It's a little bit late," he tried.

"Doesn't have to be long. Just for a little bit?" she pushed. "I'm sure Uncle Fred as a couple cold beers in the fridge that we can enjoy. You haven't had the chance to drink anything tonight."

Edward still heard Fred's words in his ear, but he didn't want Tanya to feel rejected either, so he gave her a shaky smile. "I guess I can have a beer."

The two of them entered the apartment, and Edward hurried to find a chair to sit down in, hoping the cramped space would discourage Tanya from advancing anything between them. She had made it blatantly obvious several times during the night that she definitely wanted to explore him further.

Unfortunately, Edward's seating choice didn't perturb her at all, and she promptly slid down on his knee.

"Honestly, I don't feel comfortable knowing Fred is in the next room," he told Tanya, but once again, she didn't seem to care at all.

"Don't worry about him. Aunt Shelly says he can sleep through _anything_." Her tone was suggestive and she started to play with Edward's hair. "If you know what I mean." She traced his jean-clad thigh with her fingertips before rising from the seat to go fetch those beers from the kitchen.

Edward hadn't been able to stop his reaction to her touch so close to his crotch, and he was frantically trying to come up with something that would be as good as a pack of ice. When he didn't find anything, all he could think of was to blow air down into the hem of his pants as he would blow on a piece of hot food.

It was stupid, and not logical at all, but his brain wasn't functioning.

He even started jumping around and when that didn't work, he tried his last resort and lightly punched himself between the legs. It hurt more than he had anticipated, and tears welled in his eyes, so he sat back down. When he then realized he'd taken a seat on the couch instead of the chair, he was afraid Tanya would see that as an invitation and jumped right back up again.

He had no choice but to pull out one of the wooden dining chairs and sat on it as stiff as a board.

Tanya came back out with a bottle for him, and she didn't even comment on his change of seats. "Here's your beer." She handed it to him and removed the cap with the opener in her hand. However, it appeared as if the beverage had been shaken because it foamed over and wet the entire crotch area of his jeans.

The innuendo wasn't lost on him.

"Th-thank you," he stammered out.

Tanya slowly leaned toward him. "What's your deal?" she asked and placed a determined hand on his thigh. "You've avoided me all night." She dragged her hand up, and Edward tensed. "I never would have thought a guy like you, who live with two girls, would be such a pussy." Her hand circled the bottle situated in his lap. "I thought you got laid all the time."

Edward stared at the bottle and her ministrations on it, and the sweat started to bead on his forehead. "Uuh, I … uh, I'm on vacation," he replied in an attempt to joke away the situation he had no idea how to get out of.

"Well, I think you look just about ready to get back to work," Tanya said and pulled him out of the chair only to push him down on the couch. Before Edward could even sit up straight again, Tanya had already pulled her top off and thrown it on him.

He swallowed hard. "I think you dropped something."

"Oh! I did, didn't I?" She bent over and started to slowly crawl up his body.

"Maybe we should—"

"I definitely think we should," she purred before Edward could finish his sentence. She was lying completely on top of him, and Edward tried to squirm away when the lights in the ceiling were suddenly turned on.

"Stop that immediately!"

Tanya flew off Edward at the sound of her uncle's voice and scrambled to cover back up. Edward cleared his throat and tried to come up with an excuse.

"No, I definitely can't see any cavities," he rambled and laughed nervously, but Fred wasn't fooled.

"Tanya, go to the guest room," he ordered, and she obediently did as she was told. Fred turned to Edward who faked a yawn.

"Oh, wow, it's past midnight. I'd better go up to my place. Goodnight, Fred. Goodnight, Mrs. Varner."

"Hold up, Edward," Fred stopped him, his arms crossed menacingly over his chest.

Edward held up his hands in surrender. "Fred, it's not what you think."

"It's not about what I think. It's about what I saw," Fred insisted. "You were feeling up my niece when I specifically told you not to. I gave you a chance because the girls liked you, but I want you out of my building before sunrise, do you hear me?"

Resigned, Edward sighed. "Yeah, sure," he said and left the apartment to go upstairs and pack.

Bella heard the front door open and paused the movie she was watching on her laptop. "Hello?" she called out. "Is someone there?"

"Yeah, it's Edward."

"Who's there?" Rosalie echoed Bella's question.

Bella huffed indignantly. "_Nobody's_ there, Rose," she called loud enough so Edward would be able to hear how mad she still was at him for ditching.

"You guys aren't mad at me because I'm a little late for the dinner, right?" Bella didn't feel he deserved a reply. "Bella," he called again, and she could hear him coming closer to her room.

She jumped off her bed and poked her head out the door to glare at him. "Go to hell," she bit off, but the hurt she was feeling caused her voice to break, and she slammed her door shut so he wouldn't see the tears starting to well in her eyes.

"C' mon," Edward pleaded through the door. "I have something I have to tell you guys." Neither girl answered. "Rosalie?" Once again, no reply. "Okay, fine, I get it. The silent treatment. I just wanted to tell you that I'm moving out."

Bella opened her door and started to follow Edward who had retreated to the living room. "Talk about being sensitive." She crossed her arms defensively.

Rosalie joined them. "So now you have to move because you ruined Bella's birthday dinner? How self-centered are you?"

"Yeah, talk about narcissistic," Bella agreed.

"I've been evicted," Edward said in a despondent tone.

Both girls looked shocked. "What?" they asked simultaneously.

Edward fiddled with one of the cushions on the couch. "Yeah, there were a few mishaps with Tanya's clothes downstairs."

"Like what?" Bella scoffed. "Did her underwear get stuck?"

"On the contrary," Edward said, his tone incredulous. "I've never seen something slid off that fast. But then Fred stormed in, misinterpreted everything, and evicted me in the same breath."

The fight ran out of the girls and they both leaned their heads on Edward's shoulders.

"But you can't move," Rosalie complained.

"Damn that Fred," Bella whined. Despite it being in the middle of the night, a knock sounded at the door, and Bella, feeling confused about potential guests at that time, went to open it, and as she walked, she continued to verbalize her discontent. "He shouldn't be able to just kick people out like that whenever it suits him."

Fred was on the other side. "Hi kids," he greeted, sounding embarrassed.

Rosalie immediately got up in his face. "Listen here, buddy, I'm telling you right now that you're looking at a trio who sticks together, and if you want to kick one of us out, you have to kick us all out. But mark my words, we won't go silently."

Fred looked increasingly uncomfortable and tried to calm her down. "Look, I just—"

"No," Bella interrupted. "You have no legal reason to evict Edward, and if you do, we'll take this to court, and you can take your rental contract and shove it up your—"

"I wanted to apologize," Fred finally said.

"What did you say?" Edward asked coming forward.

"I said, I'm sorry," Fred repeated. "Tanya admitted she almost assaulted poor Edward down there, and that he didn't encourage her one bit. That he was completely indifferent to her. She's devastated and wanted to let him know she's sorry, too."

Rosalie, Bella, and Edward exchanged a hopeful look.

"So I get to stay then?" he asked.

"Absolutely. You can stay for as long as you want," Fred said and attempted a smile, which turned genuine when Rosalie and Bella hugged him tightly. "Alright, that was all I wanted to say. Goodnight, kids!"

"Goodnight, Fred," the girls replied, and Edward exhaled in relief.

"Shit. That was a close one. I practically already had a foot out on the street."

Rosalie gave him a tight smile. "Yes, now that problem's out of the world, I still have to rip you a new asshole. Do you have any idea how rotten it was of you to ditch us on Bella's birthday? What did you and Tanya do all that time?"

Edward stalled. "We were at a bunch of different places."

"Really?" Rosalie feigned interest.

"And I also had an errand to run," he continued.

"Uh-huh." Bella felt the hurt from before resurfacing. "And what errand was so important?" She turned her back to him and sat down in the futon.

"Oh, nothing special, really," Edward insisted. "I just had to check something first."

Over Bella's shoulder, Edward's hand appeared holding an opened velvet box, and inside the box was the pendant from her necklace that she'd had to pawn. She reverently took it out of the box and turned it over in her palm.

"How could you afford to buy it back?" Rosalie asked Edward in awe.

Edward shrugged. "Well, let's just say I didn't spend all the money I got from Fred on Tanya." He placed his chin on Bella's shoulder. "Are you happy about your birthday gift?"

Bella couldn't speak, and she was silently crying. She had genuinely believed she would never see the pendant again. There was no way she could put into words how grateful she was at that moment, so all she could do was turn around in the chair and rain kisses all over Edward's face.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

* * *

**A/N:**

I know a few will react to this chapter. Like, why did Edward get aroused by Tanya? How dare he? Wasn't this supposed to be a B/E story? What a dick! He totally ditched her on her birthday! Etc.

Look, at the end of this chapter, Edward had been living with Rosalie and Bella for 2 months, and during those two months, Bella and Rosalie have been VERY strict with the roommate rules, so any interest that was budding in the previous chapter has been put on hold.

That hasn't stopped Edward from fantasizing, though, as implied just before he and Bella kissed.

Still, Tanya's an attractive girl, and Edward's a young guy. When an attractive girl practically starts jerking you off through your jeans, as a guy, you're bound to have a reaction, no matter how unwilling.

So give Edward a chance, okay? And he did something really sweet for Bella here, so who knows? Maybe this is the start … of something new ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

I just wrote this up today because I needed to give myself a little boost of comedy!

Hope you like this!

**Title: **Three's a Crowd

**Author: **MarieCarro

**Genre: **Comedy/Romance

**Rating: **NC-17

**Summary: **Bella and Rosalie are roommates and best friends. When the third friend of their BFF trio moves out to live with her boyfriend and her newborn baby, the girls need to find someone new, and it appears that someone just happens to stumble into their laps.

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

Bella giggled as she opened the front door, and her spine tingled with excitement and nervousness at having her date standing so close behind her. She relaxed a bit when she held the door up and he entered before her, but something was still churning in her stomach.

She knew what it was.

Edward had been living with her and Rosalie for four months now, and while Bella had kept her infatuation to herself, she hadn't been able to shake it despite the rules she continued to drill into all three of them. She hoped going on a date with another attractive guy would help her.

"This is my place," she said softly as her date, a guy named Garrett, looked the place over.

"It's nice," he complimented but advanced quickly by stepping closer, aiming to kiss her.

Just before their lips met, a humming Edward came out of the kitchen snacking on an apple.

"Hey!" he greeted them enthusiastically with a wide grin, and he hoped the tension he felt didn't show on his face.

"Hi," Bella replied with a hint of annoyance. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged and gave her a weird look. "I don't know. Live, maybe."

Bella crossed her arms with a pointed look. "I thought you were going out tonight."

"Nope," he said with a clear emphasizes on the 'p'. "I changed my mind." He gestured toward the dude who was awkwardly remaining by the door. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Garrett," Bella started with a sigh. "This is Edward."

"What's up, Garrett?" Edward said politely and offered him a handshake.

Garrett looked between Edward and Bella in confusion and didn't accept Edward's offer. "I thought you said you shared apartment with a girl."

Edward changed his posture into a more feminine one and blinked at Garrett with exaggeration. "She does. We've lived together for a few months now." His voice was pitched higher, and Bella lightly hit him on the arm.

"Stop that." She turned to Garrett. "Sorry. He likes to joke around." Since Bella's back was to him, she didn't see Edward grimace at her comment. "You see, Edward's only visiting … from home!" She put her arm around his waist. "He's my brother."

"What?" Edward asked before he could control himself and Bella pinched him hard in the side. "Ow!" He turned to Garrett. "Right! I'm Bella's _brother_." The word tasted weird in his mouth.

Garrett looked between them for a second and then nodded to himself. "Yes, I see it now. Nice to meet you!" He finally offered Edward his own handshake, and Edward reluctantly accepted.

As Edward held Garrett's hand in his, he gave him a smirk. "You know, there are people back _home_ who could swear on that Bella and I aren't even related," he said, but he used a tone that made Garrett think he was joking.

"That's strange because you guys really look alike," he said.

"Don't we?" Bella agreed with a tight smile. "Dear brother, come to the kitchen with me for just a second, will you?" She disguised the order as a sweet question and forcefully directed Edward.

However, Edward wasn't done pulling Garrett's leg, and he turned himself and Bella back around. "Hey, remind me to tell you about that time when Bella and I were kids and played doctor with our cousin James, and she right off the bat pulled his underwear down to his ankles and—"

Bella slapped her hand over Edward's mouth to stop him, but luckily, Garrett laughed and didn't notice the pure rage in her eyes. "I said: Kitchen. _Now_!"

As they rounded the corner, she gave Edward a deadly glare. "Find your own playmates, dude."

Edward chuckled. "Chill, will you? I was just joking a little. You know … like _siblings_ do?" Bella rolled her eyes, but Edward was now determined to get answers. "By the way, why do you suddenly want me as your brother?" He took an obnoxiously large bite of his apple and chewed on it loudly.

A moment passed as their eyes met, and it was clear both of them knew their relationship was far from being platonic or even familial, but they were also scared of complicating something at that stage.

"I don't know," Bella finally said. "I just have a feeling Garrett wouldn't like it if he knew you lived here, too."

"Okay. I guess I'll just tell him how it is then."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "How what is?"

"That he doesn't have to worry," Edward replied as if it was obvious. "That we're not siblings. That we've been unhappily married for two years and never have sex anymore." He morphed his expression into a miserably sad grimace, but Bella didn't buy into it.

"Just go to Murrey's or—"

Edward stopped her before she got her threat fully out. "Sorry, can't. I have to study. _But_ I promise to stay in my room the entire night."

Bella shook her head vehemently. "Forget it. I know you'll try to sneak a peek through the keyhole."

A smirk danced over Edward's mouth. "Are you saying there's something I might want to peek at?"

"No." His pointed look and wider smile made her uncomfortable. "_No_! We're just two adults who're gonna have a cup of coffee."

"Wow," Edward said, and while his smile fell, he was dancing with elation on the inside. "Talk about kinky stuff. I think I'm too innocent to listen to this. Are you gonna wear coffee filters on your heads? No, wait! Do you go with or without splendas?"

"Ha ha!" Bella said sarcastically. "Just go to Murrey's. Please? You can take your books with you. I know Felix won't mind. And could you stay away for a few hours?"

Edward sweetly patted her cheek. "Aren't you a little coffee monster, huh?"

"Stop," she said weakly and tried to beat his hands away.

"Huh?" He patted her cheek again.

"No, stop." She finally gave up. "Look, it's the first date, and I _don't_ give out on the first date."

Once again, Edward smirked at her. "You would if it was _our_ first date." He gave her a wink and then exited the kitchen. Bella was stunned by his comment and it took her a second to follow him. "It was nice meeting you, Garrett, but I'm afraid I can't stay. I have to get myself a beer."

"I hope you'll have a nice stay here in the big city," Garrett tried.

"I'm sure I will," Edward said and applied a heavy fake accent from somewhere Bella had no idea. "And you, be careful with my little sis, alright? I know exactly what guys like you want, but I don't want to hear any of it. We're very strict about that in our family. Comprende?" He boxed Garrett on the arm and used a little more force than necessary. Then he put on his jacket and saluted them both before dramatically going out through the front door, leaving Bella and Garrett looking after him in confusion.

Bella looked at Garrett who was massaging his upper arm. "I am so sorry," she told him. "I don't know what that wa—"

Edward barreled through the door again. "Also, Bells here has got seven brothers, and they're all bigger than me. Comprende?" Not able to resist, he boxed Garrett on the arm again—this time he knew he left a bruise—and left.

Bella wound her arms around Garrett's waist and started to nuzzle his neck, hoping it would make him forget the small act of violence Edward had shown him.

A light moan left him, and at that exact moment, Edward came back.

"And one more thing"-he saw their position and turned right back around—"whoopsie. I'll just leave now."

Finally, they were alone.

**~~TAC~~**

Edward entered Murrey's and was immediately greeted by Fred and Julie.

"Hello, Edward!" Julie waved. After four months, landlords and tenants were finally comfortable enough with each other to be genuinely friendly.

"How's everything, Edward?" Fred asked warmly.

Edward smiled tensely, but not in response to meeting the landlords. He was silently fuming over the fact that Bella was at home doing who knows what with some dude who wasn't him. "Everything's great."

"Life's good?"

"It's good."

"That's perfect." Fred lifted his glass to Edward.

Edward remembered then something he'd meant to bring up with Fred. "Yeah, but you should hear the noise our radiator's making."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's a constant whistling, rattling, and bubbling. Sounds like Pavarotti's respirator."

Fred nodded to himself. "It needs to be aired out immediately, then."

Julie quickly waved it away. "Sure, but Edward, tell him that he doesn't have to do it tonight."

"Uh, sure. You don't have to do it tonight, Fred. I'm not allowed to stay at home and watch the concert anyway, so..." He gestured that he was heading to the bar and said goodbye to the couple.

Felix greeted him with a fist bump. "Hey, man! What's up?"

"You know, I've been kicked out of the apartment."

"Again?" Felix asked with a laugh. "Didn't Rose kick you out yesterday? Did she get lucky again?"

Edward appreciatively accepted the beer Felix placed in front of him. "It wasn't Rose this time. It was Bella."

"Oh damn." Felix was aware of Edward's attraction for Bella and that it was, in fact, mutual, but not because they'd told him. Felix had just become an expert on human body language after eight years as a bartender. "Who was it?"

"I don't know." Edward shrugged. "Some loser named Garrett."

"You've met him before then?"

"No."

Felix grinned. "Then how do you know he's a loser?"

Edward only gave him a glare over the rim of his glass in response.

"Edward, I _need_ to talk to you!" Rose came up behind him and plopped down in the seat next to him, looking absolutely miserable.

It had only taken Edward about a week to realize that Rose wasn't the kind of girl he could ever be interested in. Sure, she was easy to look at, but if there was nothing familial between him and Bella, there was double the amount between him and Rose. Mostly, he found her to be like a very annoying little sister.

"What's bothering your little overheated brain this time, Rose?" he asked.

"It's Bella," she complained. "She kicked me out. She can't do that, can she?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "But that was exactly what you did to me and Bella last night."

Rose grimaced and tried to defend herself. "That wasn't the same thing. And that just proves it's not the first time this happens."

Not in the mood to argue with her logic, Edward paid for his beer and got off his seat. "C' mon, Rose. Let's go home."

"No, we can't. Bella will be pissed. We just can't."

"I don't care!" Edward exclaimed and felt his own annoyance building up. "This is becoming a problem. Every time you guys bring your boyfriends home you treat me like pest control treats a cockroach. How'd you feel if I brought my girlfriends home all the time and told you to get out?"

Rosalie crossed her arms. "What girlfriends?"

"I date," Edward defended himself. "But that's not the point. You and I are going home right now." He grabbed Rosalie's wrist and refused to let go as he dragged her back to their place.

Next morning at breakfast, Bella was angrily peeling the shell off a boiled egg and taking annoyed little sips of her coffee.

"Bella," Rosalie tried. "About last night—"

"I don't want to talk about it," Bella retorted.

Edward entered the kitchen. "Good morning!"

"She doesn't want to talk about it, okay!?" Rosalie said back through gritted teeth, and Edward held up his hands in surrender even though he hadn't done anything.

"Right." He poured himself some coffee and took notice of Bella's tense shoulders. "Are you still mad about last night?"

"Mad?" Bella asked with a sarcastic laugh. "Why would I be mad? I'm not mad at all that you guys rushed in while Garrett and I were in the middle of a very intimate conversation. Or that you, Edward, suggested that we should attend sexual therapy instead of just talking. I am not mad _at all_!"

Rosalie looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Edward echoed. "But look, we need to come up with a system or something, 'cause the way we're doing it right now isn't working. I'm sick of being thrown out of my own home every time one of you have a date."

Bella glared at him. "You're making it sound as if I constantly have dates over. You know I don't."

"Okay, fine," he relented. "I'm not pointing fingers at anyone, but I think all three of us would be better off if we just come up with a way to give notice before we invite people here and if there are nights when we absolutely can't bring people here."

"What kind of night would that be?" Rosalie asked.

"Like if I have to study, or Bella have to study, or something like that."

"I guess that doesn't sound half bad," Bella agreed, and the three of them exchanged a look that said all was forgiven, even though it wasn't forgotten.

**~~TAC~~**

"Hello?"

"I'm in the kitchen!" Edward answered and soon Rose and Bella came around the corner.

"Ooh, what's that smell?" Bella asked and sniffed the air.

Edward lifted the lid of the pot and proudly showcased his creation. "It's veal with chanterelles in a gravy flavored with Napoleon cognac."

Rosalie took a deep breath and savored the aroma, but Bella looked worried.

"You know I appreciate you cooking for us," she started. "But we can't afford to eat such expensive dishes ever night. Especially you since you don't work," she pointed out.

"Thank you for that kick in the gut," he said, but then showed her something on his phone. "Just look at this."

She read the text on the display loudly. "'Young man with fashionable style and education wanted for salesman position.'"

"Sounds like something for me, doesn't it?"

"Sure," Rose said. "You fulfill one of the three criteria being young at least."

"Very funny," Edward retorted.

"Wait, look at this," Bella said who'd continued to look through the site of job ads. "Young man wanted as a model for smaller projects. Twenty-five dollars per hour. Sounds like something you'd be good at."

"You think?" Edward asked with an expression that said he really enjoyed that compliment from her.

Rose took the phone from her. "Totally! It even says 'must be ill-built.'" She grinned evilly at him and gave the phone back.

He read the ad and gave her an unamused look. "It says 'well-built', Rose."

"Oh, that's too bad. I guess that didn't work out for you either." She laughed, and Bella snorted in response to the exchange between her two roommates. It was all fun and games after all.

**~~TAC~~**

Edward nervously stood in front of the female photographer and looked around the room. "I don't have any real experience for anything like this except for a really good pic in my senior yearbook." He smiled, hoping it would charm her but she just took an unimpressed puff on her cigarette.

"Great."

"Anyway, I really want this model gig, so I'm open for an interview."

"What's your name?" the photographer asked.

"Uh, Edward Cullen."

"Great. Gig's yours."

"It is?" he asked in confusion. It wasn't possible it could be that easy.

She shrugged. "What else am I supposed to do? You're the only one who's shown up. I need to deliver the pictures in an hour, so I'm desperate, dude. I would have given Jack Black the gig if he showed up without having showered for a week."

Edward, just a little bit offended by her comment, huffed. "You really know how to give compliments, don't you?"

"Oh, relax," she threw back. "You're more sensitive than a cyclists ass after Tour de France. Just take your clothes off."

"What?" Edward was completely taken aback and also a little bit worried. "It said in the ad that I'm supposed to model _clothes_."

The photographer rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "Obviously, but not the clothes you're wearing, Noodlehead."

Edward let out a relieved laugh. "Right. Of course. Where can I change then?"

"Just do it on the couch there and I'll take some test shots in the meantime."

"Do you have to?"

She put out her cigarette. "I don't give a fuck whether you're wearing heart boxer shorts, or a diaper, or have 'Mom' tattooed on your inner thigh, okay? Just do it!"

Edward took his shirt off and tried to not look too awkward, but he was already feeling uncomfortable.

"Can you give me a bit more feeling? Pose a little bit?"

He tried to do as she said, but as the session progressed, her instructions became weirder.

"Pretend to be an animal, like a pit-bull."

"A bison in heat."

Suddenly, she threw a bottle at him. "Put that on."

He looked at the bottle. "Baby oil?"

"Yeah," she said and gave him a no-nonsense expression. "Drench yourself in that and you'll look irresistibly shiny. Coat that washboard and let it dribble down onto the clothing pole."

Edward startled, but it only caused the photographer to snort.

"Don't worry, bae. We'll get women all over the country to drool over this ad."

"B-but I was supposed to model clothes," Edward stammered.

"Oh, you are," she agreed and then grabbed the tiniest piece of underwear Edward had ever seen. "Just imagine how nice the crown jewels will look in that, huh."

Edward smiled shakily.

At home, Bella was dusting in the living room while singing along to Joan Jett's 'Bad Reputation' at the top of her lungs when Edward came through the front door.

"Hey!" she yelled enthusiastically over the music when she saw him and hurried to turn the volume down. "How did the modeling thing go?"

"Awesome," he replied. "So, now I'm a Salesman."

She frowned. "Why? What happened?"

He shook his head. "They wanted me to crawl around wearing only tanga briefs."

Bella perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said incredulously. "The smallest I've ever seen, so I bailed."

"Bailed? Why?" she asked half-serious half-joking.

"How would you react if you saw me in a magazine coated in baby oil only wearing a piece of string in-between my butt-cheeks, huh?" he asked with an amused grin.

She bit her lip to stop herself from saying something she'd regret. Instead, she swallowed. "You sure you want the answer to that question?"

They looked at each other, and suddenly, they both became very aware of the fact that they were alone in the apartment. Not that it was the first time, but the discussion at hand had kind of ignited the inkling of heat between them.

However, Bella knew that Rosalie would come home any second, so she quickly cleared her throat. "Salesman, you say? What are you gonna sell?"

Edward mimicked her throat-clearing. "Books on how to reach success."

"That can't be easy."

"Oh, it'll be a piece of cake. I've got a script and everything. Let me show you." He gestured for them both to stand up, and Bella reluctantly went along with it. "You'll be the customer. C'mon!"

"Don't joke around."

"I'm not. Just go along with it."

"Fine."

Edward imitated a knock, and Bella teased him by pretending to look through the peephole.

"What are you doing?"

"What? I'm checking who it is. This is a dangerous neighborhood."

"Knock it off. You're throwing me off. Just play along." He imitated a knock again, and Bella pretended to open a door. "Good day, ma'am. What an absolutely stunning Chesterfield suite you've got there!"

Bella blinked in total bewilderment. "What?"

Edward showed her the script. "It says so right here. It teaches us to step-by-step how to handle every situation and the 'Chesterfield' was just an example."

"O-kay. Uuh, c' mon in and have a seat in my _stunning_ chesterfield couch, I guess."

"Thank you, ma'am!" They sat down and Edward gave her his toothiest smile. "Hi, there!"

"Hello."

Edward froze when he realized he'd forgotten his next line. "Uh, hold on." He looked at the script, and then went back into the smiling salesman character. "Hi, there!"

"Hello," Bella repeated skeptically.

"I'm certain, that you, just like us, know that the key to success is—"

Bella threw her arms around his neck. "My husband was deployed at sea eighteen months ago!" she wailed dramatically.

Edward knew she was trying to throw him off, but he tried to get the line out anyway. "Yes, the key to success—"

"I'm so alone." She gave him a mockingly hungry look. "And _so_ horny."

"The key..." Edward's voice was going up in falsetto when Bella got a little bit too much into her own character and licked his cheek. "Uuh, Bella, you have to stop."

She leaned away. "What do you mean 'stop'? You said you were taught how to handle _every_ situation. So handle it!" She started to slowly drag her hand up his leg while humming cheerily, and Edward frantically started to look through the script.

When Bella's hand was getting dangerously close to a certain area, Edward couldn't hold back any longer, and he threw the script over his shoulder only to capture Bella's mouth with his and positioning himself on top of her on the couch.

* * *

**A/N:**

So, that ending's something I think a lot of you have been waiting for. Do you think something something will happen? Or will something block them? Will they be caught?

What do you think? xD


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

A few have hounded me to update this story, and while it makes me infinitely happy to see that so many of you think this is a good story, it was never my intention that this story would be anything but something I'd write on when I experienced a block on my other stories.

Therefore, this story will only have sporadic updates, and I need you to accept that. Okay?

**Title: **Three's a Crowd

**Author: **MarieCarro

**Genre: **Comedy/Romance

**Rating: **NC-17

**Summary: **Bella and Rosalie are roommates and best friends. When the third friend of their BFF trio moves out to live with her boyfriend and her newborn baby, the girls need to find someone new, and it appears that someone just happens to stumble into their laps.

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**CHAPTER 5**

Bella couldn't blame Edward for his reaction. She had teased him heavily despite knowing that he had a thing for her, and while she had gladly, had they had a different living situation, continued kissing him, the rules were still very much in place.

So, she pushed on Edward's shoulders until he released her lips, but he remained on top.

"Don't get any ideas, pretty boy," she told him with a smirk, but she was serious. "I was just playing with you."

He huffed and mumbled something that sounded like "Yeah, you do that quite a lot" and made the move to stand up from the couch, but before he had the chance, Rose walked through the door cheerily.

"Damn, am I interrupting something?" she giggled. "What are you doing?"

Edward blinked and said the first thing that came to mind. "Uuh, I'm selling self-help books to Bella."

Rose immediately burst into loud laughter. "Yeah, that was going to be my exact guess."

Bella grinned up at Edward because she knew the best way to keep Rose in the dark was to start teasing the hell out of him in front of her. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"You bet!" he exclaimed and stood up. "I do need someone to practice on, though," he continued thoughtfully.

"Practice on me," Rose immediately said. "Your sale's pitch looks like fun!"

Being the little hypocrite she was, Bella cleared her throat when Rose reached for Edward's hand. Contrary to herself, Rose had lost her interest in Edward but it didn't mean she'd have anything against rolling in the hay with him either.

Rose knew why Bella made the sound, and she smiled widely at her best friend before giving them both a wink and heading to her room to drop off her things.

When they were alone again, Edward turned back to Bella. "Look, I know what those rules mean to you, but let me off the hook here," he pleaded. "Or throw me a bone or whatever."

Bella leaned over and stroked his cheek tantalizingly. "Yeah? What kind of bone do you want?"

"Am I stupid to believe there's something between us?"

For a moment, Bella stayed silent because she knew she was facing a choice. She could lie and tell Edward he was imagining it all, or she could tell him the truth and risk giving him hope. She opted for the latter.

"You're not stupid, but that doesn't mean we can act on it." She stood up from the couch and started toward her room.

"Why not?" Edward asked and with displeasure, dramatically threw himself back down on the couch. However, the big crack told him that hadn't been the best idea.

Bella gasped. "Did you just break the couch?"

"Uuh, I don't know," Edward replied, and the next second, the entire bottom gave out, causing him to sprawl down on the floor.

"Oh man!" Bella whined. "We can't afford a new one."

"Afford what?" Rose asked as she came back into the living room, and she only had to take a look at Edward and the couch to know what they were talking about. "Oh man!" she echoed Bella.

"Hey, don't worry about it." Edward struggled to get up from the broken couch and when he was finally back on his feet, he tried to play it off as if he hadn't, just the second before, flopped around like a fish on dry land. "We'll just flip it around, see what's broken and fix that. No need to buy a new one."

Rose gave him an annoyed look. "For your sake, I hope that's true."

**~~TAC~~**

Bella used all her strength with the staple gun while Rose held the fabric taut. The entire bottom board of the couch had to be replaced, and now the girls were finishing the project by dressing the bottom in fabric.

"Alright," Bella declared when she thought she'd put in enough staples on that side. "Let's pull now."

The two girls settled on the other side and started to pull on the fabric, but a few of the staples popped back out and they ended up on their asses.

"Dammit!" Bella cursed just as Edward walked through the door, his basketball in hand. He'd obviously been away at practice.

"I see you guys are taking it easy," he teased them because he could see they weren't exactly slacking off. "Unbelievable. As soon as I turn my back you find a new way to loiter around. _Every_ time."

Bella glared at him from the floor. "Unless you want a surgeon to remove that ball from your rectum, I suggest you shut up."

"Where the hell have you been?" Rose asked and stood back home. "You were supposed to help us with the couch, not run around after some stupid ball with a bunch of sweaty dudes."

"I'm running around after that stupid ball for your sake," he replied, and Rose looked surprised because she hadn't expected that retort. "Because if I run around after a stupid ball," he continued. "It gives me a big and strong body that I can defend you two with." He threw his bag and ball into his room before he started posing and tensing his muscles to show off.

Both girls rolled their eyes at him, but it didn't deter him.

"You can sleep soundly," he said. "Knowing you have such a skilled man in the house." He straightened out and then held out his hand for the staple gun. "I broke the couch. Me, man. I fix," he said like a caveman and hit himself on the chest. Maybe he even did it a bit too hard because he had to fight the urge to cough after that.

"If you think you can do it by yourself, by all means." Bella handed him the gun and then sat down on the futon. "I guess I'll just sit here and _loiter_."

It didn't take long for Edward to fix the rest of the couch and he had Bella and Rose turn it around while he instructed them on where to put it down.

"A little to the right … no, not that much. And back it up now. Kidding, go back forward. Actually, you were good from the start."

"Edward!" the girls said in unison.

He laughed. "Just put it down right there. That's perfect." They did as he said, but he immediately felt a sharp pain in his foot. "Up again, up again. You put it on my toe. Pick it up now." Once he had his foot freed from under the heavy furniture, he massaged his tender toe.

"Sorry, Edward," Rose hurriedly apologized.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked.

"I'm great," he replied somewhat sarcastically. "Who needs the luxury of ten toes?"

Bella gave him a light stroke on the cheek and he immediately felt better. Rose sat down on the couch with a wide smile.

"It's like new. Actually, it's better than new because it's already been broken in," she stated happily.

"What did you expect?" Edward asked and puffed up his chest. "You don't think Edward Cullen is capable of fixing a couch?" He joined Rose on the couch, but as soon as he sat down, it broke again.

Bella immediately started laughing. "Great craftsmanship there," she said and reached for the discarded tools again. "You'd better get up. Your hammer is waiting for you."

Edward groaned. "You're such a taskmaster. I bet you tell the daisies in the shop to do pushups before you water them."

"Can't we just forget about this for the night?" Rose asked. "It's Saturday. Let's go out."

"No, we can't," Bella said firmly. "All of us agreed to use this night to fix around the apartment. We can't back out of that now just because we had a little setback." The other two grimaced and Bella immediately defended herself. "C' mon now! I wasn't the only one who wanted that."

"Yes, you were," Rose insisted.

Bella refused to back down, though. "Well, if you don't want to continue with this, we'll just start with the wallpaper then." She handed Edward a roll, and he looked at the plain white color skeptically.

"A little boring, don't you think?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "That's the backside, stupid."

He turned it around and the large print assaulted his eyes. "Have to say, I preferred the backside."

Bella threw out her arms in frustration. "Then make the backside the front, or whatever. At least you have options. Or we can continue with the couch, finish that and then start with the wallpaper."

"_Or_ we can go to Murrey's!" Rose said again, and this time, Edward fully agreed with her.

"That suggestion has my vote. We'll go right now."

"But we said—"

"Last one down there is a rotten egg!" Rose exclaimed as she ran through the front door, Edward close on her heels.

"Guys!" Bella called after them, and then, defeated, got up on her feet. "Wait for me!"

As the three of them entered Murrey's, Bella felt obligated to remind them that they couldn't stay too long.

"Remember that we're only taking a break, okay?"

"Chill out, Bella," Edward reassured her while Rose started looking for a table. "We'll just have one beer each, and then we'll go back home and work our asses off, alright? You can take the wallpaper, and Rose and I will take the couch."

"This table here is the least dirty one!" Rose called from the other side of the bar to get their attention, and Bella went over there while Edward went to order.

It wasn't Felix behind the bar, and the bartender was new, so he had to tell them exactly what he wanted, compared to when it was someone who knew exactly who the three of them were.

"Three _Pacifico_ bottles, and three sandwiches."

"Ain't that two bottles too much for a little stick-figure like yourself?" A man, easily twice Edward's size and clearly drunk, came up behind him and stood obnoxiously close. Another guy joined him, and from their getup, Edward guessed they were in some gang. It made him very nervous because Edward wasn't a fighter.

He let out a scared laugh. "Only one is for me. The other two are for my friends," he said, but he didn't show that he meant Rose and Bella. However, the two men had obviously seen who he came in with.

"Two babes with one sissy, huh? You'd better take it easy so you don't hurt yourself."

"Yeah, you'd better cut in, Al. He looks disgustingly flaccid," the other man chimed in, and his breath told Edward he was equally as drunk as his friend.

The man named Al grabbed two of the beers in front of Edward and immediately started toward the table where Bella and Rose sat.

"Hello there, Mademoiselles," he said loudly, and Bella and Rose gave him a weirded out look. "You look thirsty," he continued and plopped the two bottles down on the table before inviting himself to sit down at their table.

"Look, man," Edward tried behind him. "I bought those for them, and we were here together."

Al looked over his shoulder at Edward. "Scamper off, will you? I'm showing these two what a real man is like." He was closest to Rose and started to lean into her personal space. "And what do we have here? A real smasher just waiting for the right man to slide into her life, isn't it?" He grinned as he put his beefy arm around her shoulders. "Sweetheart, I have my Harley just outside. What do you say about taking a ride with me?"

"I definitely think you should take a ride," Rose replied through gritted teeth. "Alone."

Al grimaced. "Are you a lesbian or something?"

"I'm _here_ with him," Rose continued and pointed at Edward.

"That one?" Al asked incredulously.

Once again, Edward smiled nervously when Al pierced him with his small, beady eyes. "Kind of, yeah. I'm here with both of them."

A moment passed as Al looked between all three of them and then started laughing. "Good one, man. That was really funny. Now, get off. Can't you see I'm busy?" He turned back to Rose who tried to squirm away.

Edward grabbed his shoulder in pure instinct and pulled him off of Rose. "Knock it off. Can't you see she's not interested? Or are you blind?"

Al immediately grabbed the front of Edward's shirt and pulled him up on his feet as he stood up. "I'm warning you, buddy," he said darkly. "You don't want to mess with me. People who do ends up in the ER with their teeth knocked out of their face."

"Really?" Edward asked, losing his nerve and bravado. "And I who was bullied throughout elementary school for my braces. It would be a shame if that was all in vain, huh?"

"Wouldn't it?" Al agreed with narrowed eyes.

"Hey, Al!" the friend yelled and came up to the table, phone in hand. "Eli is on the phone. He says the cops raided his house and he's in county."

Al sighed but kept his hold on Edward's shirt. "Guess I have to go but don't worry. I'll be back tomorrow," he threatened, then turned to Rose and Bella with a wide smile. "Same time. You'd better be here, but don't take this wimp with you." He released Edward and pushed him down into his seat before lumbering off with his friend.

Bella looked after the two with a disgusted grimace before she put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect," Edward replied shakily. "That went smooth-sailing and exactly how I planned it. I kept a low profile. I didn't want to start a fight."

"You did the right thing," Bella encouraged without pointing out he had been only seconds from pissing his pants. She wasn't about to emasculate him when he'd done what he could. She had a feeling that Al wasn't a fair fighter.

"Yeah, I mean it wasn't like I was scared or anything," Edward continued, and Bella shook her head.

"No, I didn't believe that for a second. It's cool. You stood up for Rose."

Rose was a little less forgiving, though. "Yeah, and then you sat back down because you didn't _want to start a fight._" She gave him a look as if he'd betrayed her while she put quotation marks around the last part of her statement.

The waitress came over to the table with their sandwiches, but the one she placed in front of Edward was just plain bread.

"What's this?" he asked sourly.

"I thought it was fitting for you." She grinned. "Nothing that might make you want to start a fight."

"Go ahead! Mock me. Do that because I didn't want to take on a man twice my size. While you're at it, you might as well bring me something non-alcoholic because apparently, I'm too weak to handle anything else!" Edward exclaimed, not at all hiding that his pride had been severely wounded.

The waitress scoffed. "Take it easy," she said and then exchanged his plate with one of what he had actually ordered. "I was just joking with you."

**~~TAC~~**

Edward laughed to himself as he read the comics of the day's paper. "Bella, look at this. The little guy is being bullied by the big buy, but the little guy's holding the lever that's keeping the safe in the air, and when he lets it go, the safe smashes the big guy into the ground." He let out another laugh but then sighed. "Why didn't I do something like that yesterday?"

"Because you didn't have a lever or a safe dangling in the air above that garbage of a man," Bella pointed out and sat down next to him to drink her morning coffee. She saw Edward's downhearted expression and cupped his cheek. "Can't you stop dwelling on what happened at Murrey's?"

"I should have done more. I didn't stand up for you as I should have," he said and clenched his fist angrily. "I was like that small little package of 100 percent whole wheat bread that no one wants."

Rose couldn't hold in her laugh, but she had cooled down since the night before and was no longer angry that Edward hadn't done more to defend her honor. "I hate all sorts of violence," she said. "My dad always preaches on how all guns and knives should be melted down and remade into something more useful like threshing machines."

"Threshing machines?" Edward questioned skeptically, and when Rose nodded, he scoffed. "Then you can tell your dad that if I had been David, Goliath would've still roamed about like the cocky fucker he was."

"Sorry for trying to make you feel better," she said, and he groaned.

"What I mean is I should have made him stop groping you." Edward was quiet for a moment and then shot out of his chair. "I'm gonna go back to Murrey's tonight."

"What?" Bella exclaimed. "Are you nuts? That 'Al' dude will kill you!"

"I have to do it," he said determinedly.

"Fine, but Rose and I are coming with you," Bella said and completely ignored Edward's protests.

Later, in the evening, Edward put three beers down on their table and continuously looked toward the entrance.

"Edward, let's just drink up, and then we'll leave," Rose insisted. "Please! I don't want to see you hurt."

"No way," Edward stopped her, and then downed the extra shot of Jagermeister he'd ordered with his beer. "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"Have you binged all the _Die Hard_ movies again?" Bella asked exasperatedly, recognizing the quote.

"Yeah, are you insecure about your masculinity, or something?" Rose asked, but Edward didn't answer her that question.

"Look, that Al acted like a dick yesterday, and I just think someone has to make sure he apologizes. I've simply concluded that someone has to be me."

At that moment, Al and his friend entered the bar, and Rose nodded toward them. "Here's your chance, Ed. They're here."

Edward tensed up momentarily, feeling all of his false bravado melting away in less than a second.

Al found them as he stood by the bar and yelled out his greeting, just as obnoxiously as he had the night before. "Hello there, beauties!"

After taking a deep breath, Edward braced himself and readied to stand up, but Rose stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"Don't! He only said 'hello'."

"He said 'hello, beauties' as if his approval of your looks is necessary for you to know. That's enough invasion for me," Edward insisted and tried to stand up again.

"No, you're gonna sit down," Bella said, got up from her own seat and pushed Edward back down. "I'm gonna get us some peanuts."

"Bella, I don't want you going up there alone," he said and once again tried to stand.

"I said, sit!"

Without waiting for his response, Bella sauntered up to the bar and placed herself between Al and his friend.

"Damn, you're looking mighty fine," Al said and appraised her up and down.

Bella smiled at them. "Thanks. I'd like to talk to you about my friend."

Al grinned. "Yeah, she's a real knock-out, ain't she? And you're quite sexy yourself. I believe the four of us can have a real good time."

"I'm sure we could," Bella said and fought off the disgust she felt.

"And hey, if you want me to punch that little dweeb you're with, just say the word," Al continued while his friend just stood and nodded silently.

"Actually," Bella started. "It was the dweeb I referred to before as my friend." Al and his supporter looked confused and didn't say anything so Bella continued. "Yeah, I just wanted to warn you that you should be very careful about pissing him off."

The two brawny men started to laugh and snort, but Bella grabbed the lapels of their jackets to regain their attention.

"I'm serious. Listen..."

"Okay, that's enough!" Edward declared and stood up again.

"No, Edward, they're just laughing. You know how funny Bella can be."

"No, Rose. This ends now." Edward walked up to the trio by the bar. "Is there a problem here?"

Al looked at him and shook his head. "No. No problem at all, right Pete?"

The friend, Pete, shook his head with wide, terrified eyes. "No problem."

"You're sure? Bella, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Bella said.

"Okay, good, but they were dickheads toward you and Rose yesterday. I just think they should apologize."

Bella nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

Edward glared at Al. "You were real jerks last night. Imposing yourselves on girls who didn't want anything to do with you. Being rude to the staff and all of that. I'm afraid I can't accept that."

Al held up his hands in surrender. "Look, dude, I don't want any trouble, okay. If you say I was wrong, then I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I'll go. C'mon, Pete. We're not welcome here anymore."

In total confusion, Edward watched the two men run out of the door as if the devil was chasing them, and it took him a moment to realize Bella must have said something outrageously scary about him, and he crossed his arms and waited for her to admit.

"What?" she asked and shrugged as if it was nothing.

"What did you say to them?"

"Nothing," she replied and took a sip of her beer, but he didn't relent and continued to stare at her. "Nothing! I didn't say anything. Your levelheadedness must have just made them realize they were assholes, that's all."

Edward didn't believe a word, but he understood he wouldn't get a word out of her. "Fine, then. Excuse me while I got to the bathroom to change my underwear."

When he was out of earshot, Rose leaned over to whisper in Bella's ear. "What did you say to them?"

Bella grinned mischievously. "I told them that Edward's the son of Sonny Barger's godson."

"Who's Sonny Barger?"

"Oh, no one important, really," Bella replied and took another sip of her beer. "Just the co-founder of the California chapter of Hell's Angels."

"I knew it!" Edward said and pointed an accusing finger at Bella as he came back around the corner he'd been hiding behind. "Are you crazy? How can you say that to two guys like that?"

"I just wanted the make them think twice before they beat you to death," Bella defended. "If you haven't noticed, I kinda like you, and don't want you to die."

"Thank you, Bella. I truly feel the love right now," Edward replied sarcastically. "Now I feel like a fraud."

"But why?" Rose asked. "You actually stood up for your beliefs this time. You gave him a piece of your mind and I thought you were great."

Edward straightened his back. "Really?"

"Absolutely," Bella agreed. "You were definitely my hero tonight."

* * *

**A/N:**

Poor Edward. It's not easy being a man when other men belittle you for actually not being an asshole.

I think this chapter can be relevant to what some men have to endure right now. Just like women, they have loads of societal standards they have to live up to, and if they don't … well, they're bullied by other men (or women) for not being manly enough.

Some men are insecure about their masculinity, just like some women are insecure about their femininity. I think we should all just try to sympathize more with each other instead of throwing horse shit around.

That was just my two cents ;-)


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**

Okay, yeah, I can barely believe this myself. When I sat down to write today, the plan wasn't to work on this story, but here I am, surprising myself!

I know you've waited a long time for this, so I won't keep you.

**Title: **Three's a Crowd

**Author: **MarieCarro

**Genre: **Comedy/Romance

**Rating: **NC-17

**Summary: **Bella and Rosalie are roommates and best friends. When the third friend of their BFF trio moves out to live with her boyfriend and her newborn baby, the girls need to find someone new, and it appears that someone just happens to stumble into their laps.

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

Rosalie hummed to herself as she packed her large suitcase when Edward came into her room, one of his shirts in his hand.

"Hey, Rose. Could you help me sew this button on here?" he gestured with the broken off button miserably.

She shook her head with a smile. "Sorry, can't. I have to leave soon, so I don't have time. Ask Bella."

Edward sighed. "I did, but she insisted she had to water the plants before work."

"Well, it's true," Bella said as she flitted past the door. "They need some nourishment, you know. The beer you pour over them when the Seahawks wins over the Giants isn't enough."

Still pouting sadly, Edward followed her. "If you cared about me half as much as you care about those plants, I might've actually felt liked around here."

Bella turned to him and matched his exaggerated expression. "Aaaw, poor little Edward," she said and gently touched his cheek before holding up the bottle with grimy water happily. "You want some fertilization too?"

Edward grimaced and Bella pretended to be offended.

"But it's my special concoction," she gasped. "It's rainwater from your gym shoes on the balcony, whisked lightly with horse manure. C'mon, have a taste!" She playfully held the bottle up to his face.

"I'll pass," Edward said and started to back away.

Bella smiled evilly and stalked after him. "But it's so good for you. I promise you'll grow so big and strong!"

He made a full one-eighty and ran, but Bella followed, the bottle raised like a gun in her hand. She chased him around the entire apartment, but then, when he once again faced her, he bumped into the back of the living room futon and fell backward.

With a grin, Bella leaned over him and once again pretended she was going to spray him, but he grabbed the backs of her arms and pulled her down on the floor with him, wrestling the bottle out of her grip and then rolling them over to lock her down on her back.

Edward was straddling her hips and had her wrists held down against the floor by her head when both of them became acutely aware of their intimate position. His eyes involuntarily traveled down to her heaving chest, and Bella's breathing became even more labored as she watched him take in her curves.

A frustrated groan sounding from Rosalie's bedroom interrupted the tense moment. "Bella!"

Edward and Bella exchanged a heated glance. They were both aware their lust for each other got harder and harder to squash down with every time they got close. But then, Bella closed her eyes and inhaled sharply.

"What?" she yelled back to Rosalie.

"I can't get the bag to close. Can you come here and sit on the lid?"

Edward was still looking at her with lust-filled eyes, and Bella had to swallow hard.

"I'll be right there!" She gently pushed Edward off her, and he sighed in disappointment.

Bella sympathized with him because it was getting increasingly difficult for her as well, but she really didn't want to put her best friend in the position of living with a dating couple. To show him that she wasn't rejecting him for the fun of it, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it before she got up from the floor and disappeared inside Rosalie's room.

For a moment, Edward remained on the floor and contemplated if all the frustration he felt around Bella was worth it or if he should just start looking for a new place again. It appeared as if that was the only solution to a problem he had never anticipated he would have.

The doorbell rang, and Edward was thankful for the interruption of his thoughts to go answer it.

"Hi there, Edward! How are you?" Julie asked cheerily, but without waiting for a reply, she held up a polaroid camera. "I promised Rosalie she could borrow this. She's excited to go to L.A with Alice, isn't she?"

Edward accepted the camera and invited Julie inside. "Are you kidding me? She hasn't stopped talking about it for a week. It made Bella quite angry since she can't go with them." He fiddled a bit with the camera since he'd never actually used one before.

"I can imagine the girls rarely get to see Alice anymore," Julie mused. "What with Alice being a new mom and all, I mean. How old is her baby now?"

Before Edward could answer, Rosalie and Bella emerged from the bedroom, and Edward exhaled in relief. He had no idea how old Alice's baby was since he didn't really know her. He knew _of_ her through the girls, but that was it.

Rosalie gasped in excitement at the sight of the camera. "Oh thank you so much, Julie! This will make the trip even better!"

"It's nothing, honey," Julie assured. "Fred and I bought that thing years ago when we wanted to take pictures of all the exciting trips we were going to make and sights we were going to see."

"How does it work?" Rosalie asked as she took the camera from Edward.

"No idea. We never used it." The look Julie gave Rosalie caused everyone to chuckle. It wasn't a secret that Julie often wished Fred was a little bit more adventurous. "Which is why it's better it gets used now. It's been collecting dust in our closet for years."

The front door opened behind them, and the infamous Alice stepped through. As the three former roommates melted together in a group hug, Alice's husband, Jasper, with a baby strapped to his front, stood to the side with Julie and Edward.

"You must be Edward," Jasper said and held out his hand. "Nice to finally meet you. I'm Jasper, and this is Oliver."

"Yeah, nice to meet you," Edward agreed and accepted the offered handshake.

Julie, after having said hi to Alice, excused herself and left, and Alice immediately complained about how sad it was that Bella wasn't coming with them.

Bella's expression was just as disappointed. "I know." She sighed. "I hate that I can't come with, but no one at work could cover my shift, and I have a test coming up that I really need to study for."

"Don't worry about it, Bella," Jasper said, stepping into the conversation. "We're weaning Oliver off nursing right now, and I have nothing against staying at home with him whenever you three want to see each other."

Bella kissed Jasper on the cheek gratefully and then looked at Alice over her shoulder. "You have the sweetest husband, you know that?"

Alice smiled and looked at her little family. "He's the best," she said, and then her phone chimed. "Oh, that's our Uber, Rose. Let's go." The two girls grabbed their bags and started leaving. "It was nice meeting you, Edward. Bella, I expect to have lunch with just you when we're back, and don't you dare back out of it!"

With her hands up in surrender, Bella nodded in agreement. "Have fun!" She waved goodbye somewhat sadly, clearly wanting to go with them.

Edward wanted to comfort her, but not only was Jasper still there, but baby Oliver stared at him with eyes that looked like he was judging him hard, and he wondered if babies could read minds. If they could, he needed to force his thoughts into a K-rating quickly.

"Well, I'd better get going," Jasper said. "I was only supposed to drop Alice off and it's almost time for Oliver's nap."

"You need to come over more often," Bella said and then turned her attention to Oliver. "I don't want this handsome little gentleman to forget who I am." She lightly grabbed his closed fist to shake it, but the baby was enthralled with Edward and continued to stare at him with an open mouth. "Looks like you've got yourself a fan, Edward," Bella said with a giggle.

Edward let out an uncomfortable laugh. He wasn't very good around babies, and while he had nothing against them, he never knew how to act around them.

Jasper said goodbye and then left, and as soon as the door closed, Bella leaned her head back in frustration and let out a groan before throwing herself on the couch. "This sucks," she complained.

"I resent that. It's a blast hanging out with me," Edward said and leaned on the back of the couch, and he didn't even bother to hide his appreciation for Bella's outstretched body.

She reached up with her hand and squeezed his cheeks until his lips pouted like a fish. "Yes, hanging out with you absolutely trumps going to L.A with my two best girlfriends, one of which I rarely get to see anymore." She removed her grip and sighed dramatically. "Oh, well, I guess we can have equally fun sitting at home. Watch a German silent movie from the 20s or something."

Edward massaged his jaw after Bella's hard grip and then leaned forward, closer to her. "Maybe I can make up for it?" he said, and she turned to him with a skeptic expression.

"How?"

Before she could protest, he leaned down and captured her mouth with his. At first, she tried to lean away, but the moment their lips detached, he whispered against hers. "We're completely alone, Bella. There's no one around to catch us."

There was a moment of hesitation, but then, finally … _finally_ … she gave in and their mouths started to move in sync once more. Without much grace, he climbed over the back and lay on top of her, his hands roaming over her curves in heated lust.

"Edward..." she breathed out. "We sh—"

"Please, don't say it," he begged as his dick wept for a second time. If this pattern continued, his balls would fall off for sure, and he didn't want to live out the rest of his life as a eunuch.

"Just because we're alone doesn't mean the issue is gone," Bella said, but she didn't make a move to get out from under him, either.

"We don't have to tell her," Edward insisted and ran a hand down the length of her body, hoping it would get her back into the mood. "What we do when she's not home is up to us, isn't it? I just want you so much."

Bella reached up and wound her hands around his neck, truly reluctant to move away from him. She wanted him, and he wanted her. It shouldn't have been a difficult equation. "Rosalie isn't stupid, Edward," she said, and he gave her a skeptical look. "She's not! She just has a different way of looking at things, but believe me, when it comes to sex, she's got a sixth sense. She'd take one look at either of us and immediately know."

Realizing nothing would happen, Edward sat back on his knees, and Bella sat up next to him.

"So what if she found out?" Edward asked. "Why would that be such a bad thing?"

"Because we promised each other."

"Promised what?"

"That neither of us would ever have sex with you," she admitted and stood up. Edward stared at her in confusion. "It was one of the conditions we set before we agreed to let you move in?"

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Edward, you know you're hot and what effect you have on girls. Before you moved in, I saw the sexual tension between you and Rose. I set that condition to ensure we wouldn't have to find a new roommate _again_ if you two rolled around in the sheets and things didn't work out." She grabbed her discarded spray bottle to resume her task with the plants. "I didn't anticipate this … _thing_ or whatever between you and me," she finished.

Edward rose from the couch as well and followed her closely. "But Bella, this _thing_ isn't just sexual tension. Is it?"

"I don't know what it is, Edward," she said, but she had to swallow as her body responded to his proximity. Her skin tingled and she wanted nothing more than for him to grab her waist and pull her back against his chest. Contradictory to everything she told him, she wanted him to not listen to her. She wanted him to take charge and do with her what he pleased.

A part of her resented him for not reading her mind and fantasies even if the notion was ridiculous. Like, was it too much to ask for him to instinctively know all of her innermost desires even if she never talked about them?

As the silence between them stretched, her resolve slowly crumbled when Edward suddenly stepped away from her and started walking toward his room. "I'm going to have a party tonight," he announced out of the blue, and because Bella's mind remained on her fantasies about Edward's hands, it took her a rather long moment to register what he had said.

"What?" she asked and blinked.

"I need to relax and have some fun," he said. "So I'm going to invite a few friends over."

"But Edwar—" she started to protest, but he held up his hand.

"I know you need to study, but you can go to the library. I really need to release some steam." He turned his back and disappeared into his room while Bella stood there gaping in shock, not really understanding what just happened.

**~~TAC~~**

With more than a little alcohol in his system, Edward danced closely entwined with one of the girls who'd tagged along with his invited friends. The loud music from the speakers drowned out almost every single one of his thoughts except one.

What the fuck was he doing?

And apparently, he wasn't the only one who wondered the same thing. Felix had one of his rare nights off from Murrey's, and he had gladly accepted Edward's invitation. Now, he patted him on the shoulder and with mild violence pried the girl away from Edward.

"Great party, man, but let me just ask one thing," he said and mixed another drink for himself. "What would you have done if Bella came home and saw you with that chick?"

Edward couldn't focus on his face too well, but he looked in his general direction. "Well, what am I supposed to do? Live like a monk until Bella makes up her mind? Do you know what she's doing to me?" His words were slurred, but Felix was an expert on drunk people.

"Apparently not enough," he said, and as soon as those words were out of his mouth, Bella walked through the front door, looking haggard with her hair falling out of the bun on her head, and her backpack tearing at the seams from all the books in it.

"Oh fuck," she said when she saw the scene before her. Edward hadn't been joking, it was a full-blown party, and there was no way she'd be able to sleep with the loud music blaring out from the speakers.

"Bella!" Edward called for her, and she looked him over, noticing his lack of balance and his unfocused eyes.

"You're having fun, I see," she said with a deadpanned tone.

"C'mon, don't be like that," he said and pulled her tight to his side before he leaned down and started kissing her neck.

An electric surge shot through her body from where his lips touched her skin, and she moaned, completely helpless against the tsunami of lust slamming into her whenever Edward touched her in any kind of intimate way.

"Edward, please," she said, wanting him to stop, but in his alcoholic fog, he interpreted it differently.

"I like it when you beg," he mumbled and kissed his way up her throat until he reached her mouth. "Do it again," he said and smirked.

"You're really drunk right now," she stated, but that didn't deter him.

"Not drunk, you're just blurry," he said but then relented. "Alright, fine, so I'm drunk. And? You know better than anyone that I want you just as much when I'm sober." He looked into her eyes, but just as she was about to give in, he leaned away. "We need to get you on this level. I'm gonna get you a drink."

She nodded and exhaled as he left. Then, out of the left-field, a guy she didn't know came up behind her and put his hands on her hips, trying to dance with her while obnoxiously pressing his flaccid dick into her ass.

Annoyed, she removed his hands from her and stepped away, but he tried again, this time from the side. He grabbed her hand and tried to make her spin, but she retracted once again. Still, he didn't take the hint. Every time she stepped away, he was there with his hands and arms and legs. It was as if he had more limbs than normal.

Eventually, she was so fed up that she turned to face him with a glare. "Hey, Octopus-man, do you mind? Could you get out of my face right now?"

Edward returned and placed his entire hand on the guy's chest and shoved him out of the way. The guy fell backward, but quickly recovered and started searching for a new girl.

"Your drink," Edward said and handed Bella a plastic cup.

She accepted it, but she didn't take a drink right away. She and Edward looked at each other for a long moment, then she decided and took a deep swig. What the hell. If you can't beat them, join them, right?

It was already late when Bella got home, but the party was far from over, and it didn't take long for her to be caught up in the music and the atmosphere as the drinks gave her new energy.

With each dance, her inhibitions loosened and before long, she and Edward were entwined beyond what was appropriate around other people. All of their controlled lust toward each other exploded and it was a mess of limbs as they almost wrestled their way to Edward's bedroom.

Their kisses were aggressive to the point where it appeared as if they were trying to hurt each other. Their pent-up frustration with themselves and each other erupted, and Bella was certain she'd have marks on her skin after the slightly painful bites Edward gave her as he had her pushed up against his door.

"If you make me stop right now," he growled against her mouth. "I swear, I'm done, Bella."

Her nails raked across his back as she attempted to get his shirt off. "Then don't you dare stop," she said and pulled him even closer.

The party and the guests were forgotten, the music was just background noise as they struggled to remove their clothes. When they'd gotten his jeans down to his ankles, one of Edward's feet got stuck and when he fell back, he brought Bella down with him.

"Dammit, I can't get them off," he said through gritted teeth, but Bella wasn't listening. With her position on top, she could easily part her legs, effectively straddling him. The skirt she'd put on that day because of the heat turned out to be the best choice she'd ever made.

"Leave them," she moaned in his ear. "You don't need your feet free for this next part."

"Holy shit," he breathed out in awe as she removed her bra, allowing him his first unhindered view of her breasts. His only regret was that he couldn't fully appreciate them in his current inebriated state.

With hurried and rather clumsy movements, they were able to at least pull his underwear far enough down to release the needed body parts, and when they moved her unflattering, and very unsexy, white cotton panties to the side, they locked eyes with each other, silently communicating that the next couple of minutes would be hard, messy, and over quickly.

There was no hesitation as she took him inside her, and they both let out drawn-out groans of pleasure as they connected. Edward's hands shot to her hips to guide her movements even though she didn't need it, and each time she sank down on him, his fingers dug harder and harder into her flesh.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed. "Damn you, Bella, for keeping us from this!"

"Just shut up," she said and placed her hand over his mouth, thrusting her hips down even harder.

Despite her hand over his mouth, Edward continued to talk. "I hope this isn't a one-time thing," he mumbled into her palm.

The pleasure on her face was obvious, but so was her annoyance. "If you keep talking, it will be."

"Right. Shutting up now."

"Finally," she exhaled and placed both her hands on either side of his head for support as they both fast approached their orgasms. "Edward, I need you to touch me," she panted and was infinitely grateful she didn't have to spell out where she meant it as one of his hands sneaked in between them and pressed his fingers against her most sensitive spot. "Fuck, yes!"

Once she clenched around him, Edward was only seconds behind her before he also lost himself to the sweet, torturous pleasure of one of his most intense orgasms ever.

Out of breath and damp from sweat, Bella rolled off Edward and settled down next to him. "Do you always ramble like that during sex or is it because you're drunk?" she asked.

Already close to falling asleep, Edward tried to shrug. "I don't know. Did you hate it?"

"It was a little bit of a turnoff," she said honestly, her own eyes drooping as a mix of the alcohol she'd consumed and her post-coital haze pulled her into unconsciousness.

"I'll get a muzzle for next time."

"Good."

**~~TAC~~**

Bella's head was pounding and her tongue felt too large for her mouth. Her eyes were glued shut, and her entire body ached. She could clearly feel the body heat of another person next to her, but a part of her was terrified to check who it was. Whoever it was had his face pressed into her neck, snoozing into her hair.

The throbbing ache between her legs told her all she needed to know of what had happened, and her state of undress was another clue for that already solved case. She moaned in pain and pried her eyes open.

She instantly recognized the décor of Edward's bedroom, and she turned her head to confirm what her disoriented memories were already telling her.

He looked peaceful in his sleep, but also absolutely ridiculous with his jeans stuck around his ankles and his underwear halfway down. His hair stood in every direction and it looked as if he had scratch marks on his arm.

An overwhelming sense of warmth washed over her as she looked at him. Her mind told her she had been stupid to drink so much and lower her guard, but she also knew she could never regret what they'd done, and she also knew she wouldn't be able to go back to tipping on her toes around him for Rosalie's sake.

She disentangled herself from his limbs and sat up, and the jostling of the bed woke him.

"What? I didn't … what?" he said and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Bella? What's going on?" His own hangover slammed into him and he groaned before burying his face in his pillow. Then, he became aware of his clothes and how he was still very much flashing himself. As he pulled his underwear back on, he looked at Bella's back and then her neck as she twisted her hair up in a bun.

Her skin was purple from several hickeys and he remembered he'd gotten a little carried away.

"That was definitely not how I imagined our first time to be," he said, and Bella laughed softly to not make either of their headaches worse.

"No, I can't say I imagined it like that either."

Silently, Edward studied Bella as she redressed, and he simply had to ask. "We're not going to just return to before now, right? 'Cause I know I can't do that."

Bella sighed and then crouched down next to the bed to be eye level with him. "No, I can't do that either, but I don't know how we're gonna do this. Not only would it be really unfair to Rose to have to live with us and ask her to put up with our intimacy, but do you have any idea how betrayed she'll feel?"

"Honestly, Bella, why would she feel betrayed?"

"Are you kidding me? She was totally into you first."

Edward chuckled in amusement as he thought back to those first days when he'd harbored a mutual interest in their other roommate. "Yeah, but maybe you haven't noticed that she and I are pretty much like brother and sister at this point. Just the thought of doing what we just did with her makes me shudder." He mockingly imitated a disgusted shiver.

She lightly pushed on his shoulder and stood back up. "Whatever. Get dressed. I am not leaving this room to evaluate the damages to our living room without you."

"Is that so?" Edward asked with a grin and snatched her wrist in his hand to pull her back down on the bed. "What if I don't want you to leave this room? What then?" He nuzzled her neck and slid his hand in under her shirt.

"Aren't you massively hungover?" she asked but made no move to get back up.

"Devastatingly so," he confirmed. "But you know, I might know of a cure." He reached behind her for the zipper on her skirt because this time, he wanted her completely naked.

"Edward—"

"Please, Bella. Let's just remain in this bubble for a little while," he begged. "Let us have a first time we can both remember clearly. I've wanted you for so long, and I don't want this to end yet."

She contemplated it for a short moment, and then lifted her hips to allow him to remove her skirt. "Are you gonna talk my ear off this time as well?" she asked through a giggle.

"That was the alcohol talking," he assured her as he slipped her underwear off at the same time as the skirt and then made quick work of his own. "And I'd rather have you moan my name."

They shifted until she was fully under him, and then grabbed the underside of her knee to bend her leg and wrap it over his hip. Much slower than the night before, he entered her, and she whimpered, both from the dull ache after their aggressive sex and from the feeling of being so full.

He captured her mouth and their hips started moving together, slowly but determined. He focused on her sounds and what movements she reacted to the most because he didn't want to miss a second of it. Once he found that spot that made her gasp, he concentrated on that while also taking care of her other erogenous zones; sliding his fingertips lightly along the length of her inner arm, giving great attention to her neck and clavicle bone, ghosting his touch over her bare breasts.

Edward had always taken great pride in knowing how to satisfy women, but never had he been happier when he could use those skills with Bella. When her panting morphed into his name falling from her lips over and over, he knew she was close, but he didn't want it to end yet.

He slowed down his movements, pulling out almost the entire way, and she immediately protested.

"Edward, please..."

He smirked. "I like it when you beg," he said.

"Shut up."

* * *

**A/N:**

This story has been nominated for WIP of the Year in the Golden Onion Awards, and it made me feel inclined to actually give you another chapter.

Now, this story will continue with slow updates. It's not a priority of mine. I'm using it when I feel low on inspiration and I need to get my muse going again. With that said, it's not an easy story to write.

As much as it's heavily based upon the Swedish version of Three's Company, you will also have noticed in this chapter that I am also deviating a lot from it when it comes to the relationship between Bella and Edward.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one, and as always,

Until next time,

Stay Awesome!


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